Category Archives: Old age

Retirement, seniority, death, funerals, remembrances

The Nova Scotia Spirit

Nationality: American 

Age: 60 

Occupation: Writer 

Residence: Sherman Oaks, CA 

Performance Date: November 28, 2024

Primary Language: English

STORY: “I was in Nova Scotia staying at my parents’ house on a cove on the water, and my grandmother was very sick, and she was dying nearby at the hospital. And I’d been like two or three times, and it’s grueling. Everytime you leave it’s like you’re saying goodbye to someone for the last time; it’s hard. And she was very very sick. And so, I believe my mother was at the hospital, and I was standing on the dock, overlooking the cove, watching, like, dolphins and whales swim by, and I saw coming down from the sky, this…entity, like, almost like, with like…gossamer, flowing fabric behind it. Came tight down right in front of me, down into the water, up, around me, and then went away. And I was like ‘what the actual?’ And then my mother called and said that her mother just died. So I’m guessing maybe she was…saying goodbye.”

ANALYSIS: Seeing as this happened before the individual knew of her grandmother’s passing, it is less likely that the entity she witnessed was merely a manifestation of her grief, or a way to cope with her grandmother passing away. While it could’ve been subconscious, it is still unlikely. It is interesting, however, that the spirit described in this story with “gossamer, flowing fabric” that came from the sky, is eerily similar to a lot of modern Western visual interpretations of ghosts. It was not a corporal entity, nor one that resembled an animal, but a very traditional “ghost” of sorts. Nonetheless, it could be plausible that it was the ghost or the spirit or the soul of the individual’s grandmother saying goodbye one last time.

Grandpa’s Voice

I was up late with my roommate and his friends and we were chatting about all sorts of things when I finally asked them if anything unusual had ever happened to him. My roommate said nothing while one of them, a 19 year old from Shanghai named K.H., told this chilling story. 

“So I was at my grandma’s house. I used to go over a lot just to keep her company because my grandpa had died so she was lonely and sad. Anyways so I was just sitting in the living room, scrolling through my phone, and out of nowhere I hear my name. Like, really clear. I froze, looked around, but there was no one there. I just kinda sat there, like, okay, whatever, maybe I’m just hearing things. So, I get up to grab my charger, and as I walk past the hallway, I swear, I see something move out of the corner of my eye. It was like a shadow, or maybe the way the light hit, but it was just… wrong. I don’t know. I honestly was too nervous to check so I ignored it, but the whole time I felt like someone was watching me. Then, right as I’m about to leave the kitchen, I hear my name again. This time, from the back of the house. Now this voice sounded exactly like my grandpa who had died. It was scary as hell so of course I quickly went into the living room where I found my grandma still sitting there, reading her book, completely calm. I didn’t say anything to her, but I swear it happened. I’m pretty sure it was the ghost of my grandpa. Or I’m just schizophrenic haha.” 

When K.H. finished, I didn’t know what to say. It wasn’t some crazy ghost story, just quiet, personal, and kinda eerie. My roommate shrugged like it was nothing, but it stuck with me. The part that got me was his grandma, just sitting there like nothing happened. Maybe she didn’t hear it. Or maybe she did.

Muslim Tradition: Funerals

Nationality: American
Primary Language: English
Age: 21
Occupation: Student
Residence: Los Angeles, California
Performance Date: 9 April 2024

Tags: Muslim, Islam, funeral, death, burial, graves

Text:

Muslim funerals can be compared to the solemn tradition seen in most modern Western funeral progressions, but with a few key differences. Guests wear all white attire instead of all black, and the body is also wrapped in a white sheet, after having been washed and prayers having been said. Coffins are apparently similar to sarcophaguses (for lack of a better comparison), and the dead are buried above ground because it is seen as very improper to walk over the dead. Gravestones are very clean and do not have much writing on them other than the dead’s name and lifetime, and it is not as common for people to go to graveyards to visit, as the view is that once a person is dead, they let them stay dead.

Context:

J is a student studying ANTH 333 in the University of Southern California. She regularly participates in Muslim traditions and cultural activities with her friends and family, which unfortunately includes some funerals in the past.

Analysis:

Small details in the difference between general Western funerals and Muslim funerals might seem insignificant in the long run, but they can reveal large differences in the cultural and traditional aspects of each region’s values and morals. It is through these differences that we can realize how alike we really are, unified under common instances that make each one of us different.

Family Reunion (life cycle celebration)

“Growing up [my family and I] always went to [our family reunion]. We usually met in a church. Mom’s dad and all his brother’s and sisters, and all of us, we’d gather to eat and see each other – fried chicken, cream corn, corn bread, green beans, etc. We’d all just catch up and [my mom] and her sisters would sing for everyone – something folky – and then we’d take pictures. So me and granddad and grandma and mom and dad and me and my brothers, and all my first and second cousins were all in one picture, and then other sides or groups of thee family would take their own.”

My informant told me all about the family reunions he attended annually as he was growing up. He doesn’t attend them anymore, as many of those family members have passed away or become busy with their own families.

When I asked him what the reunion meant to him-

“We did it every year, in the summer – usually August. It was nice out, it was nice to see each other. We’re usually all scattered about. I love my family, I like talking to them, catching up with them.”

He is from North Carolina, part of the southern United States, he recounts, but couldn’t specify folk music shared among his family, and the food he described distinctly stuck out as traditional southern comfort food. As his family is not normally all together is this larger collective, it must feel quite nostalgic to come together and share these songs and classic food together.

He also speaks about the photos they always took, and though he didn’t speak on this himself, I wonder about how each picture changes through every passing year and how the image of their family dynamics change. It sounds like his family, whether it is intentional or not, were preserving this knowledge and part of their families history through photography.

Funeral Parties

Pronouns: She/Her

Age: 21

Nationality: American

Primary Language(s): English

Text

“So for ‘funerals’ we do celebrations of life where we get drunk and party to our loved ones’ lives. We normally don’t have a funeral service. Instead, we make powerpoints, speak on our favorite memories, and take shots in their honor. That’s the funeral.”

Context

This informant is one of my close friends. She is fairly close with her family and visits her parents often.

Analysis

This ritual is practiced in the presence of death with the purpose of celebrating the deceased family member’s life. It is a ‘separation rite’ (as defined by Arnold van Gennep) because it ritually marks the separation of a loved one from his or her family, friends, and life. By choosing to celebrate the family member’s life rather than mourn the family member’s death (in other words, seeing death as an opportunity for positivity and connection), the informant’s family is more easily able to cope with the passing of their loved ones. In other words, partying in the face of death is another form of mourning/coping.