Category Archives: Rituals, festivals, holidays

Traditional Taiwanese Engagement and Wedding Customs – Folk Ritual

Nationality: Taiwanese
Age: 60+
Occupation: Retired
Performance Date: 4/29/2023
Language: Taiwanese

1. Text

Interview transcription:

When asked to share a traditional Taiwanese custom, the informant shared the following Taiwanese wedding tradition.

The interview was conducted in a mix of Mandarin and Taiwanese. It has been translated below into English and organized in the order performed into categories for ease of comprehension.

Pt 1. Engagement Customs

a) Intro:

“In Taiwanese culture, weddings happen like this. The parents of the bride and the groom meet, they usually have a meal together in a hotel. They then decide that the bride and groom shall get engaged. The engagement celebration, or *訂婚 (*phonetics “Ding Hun”; transliterated as “set marriage”), is hosted by the bride’s family. The bride’s family determines how many tables need to be set up, who to invite, which are usually the parents of the bride and groom, as well as the elders of both families such as the grandparents or other older relatives.”

b) Crackers:

“There is a saying that goes “*甲查某子 換大餅” (*a rhythmic phrase in Taiwanese which is translated to “marry off your daughter, get a big cracker”). This is because the groom’s family orders big round traditional Chinese/Taiwanese crackers called *喜餅 (*Mandarin word read as “Xi Bing”; transliterated as “Happiness Cake”) that is given to the bride’s family and relatives. There are also *小餅 (*small crackers that are usually Western cookies in a tin box).

c) Gifts:

“In the old days, there is a tradition of the bride’s family preparing *擺下 (*transliterating what I heard as a Taiwanese phrase to Mandarin, should mean a “gift set” in English) where 12 or 24 items are carefully selected and given to the groom’s family along with the bride. Some examples of things that can be in the set are pig feet meat tied with a red ribbon, cooked abalone, and a Western suit set for the groom, including pants, socks and shoes. Although people now simplified the suit giving tradition to giving the groom money to pick his own suit.”

“From the groom’s mother, called *婆婆 (*phonetics “po po”; translation “mother-in-law”), traditionally *品禮 (*Taiwanese word transliterated to Mandarin, means “proper gift”) is given to the bride. It is a box that contains a set of gold jewelry passed down from the mother-in-law to the bride.”

Pt 2. Wedding Customs

a) Intro

“Yes while the engagement is hosted by the bride’s family, the wedding is hosted by the groom’s family. The celebration is called a *喜宴 (*Mandarin word read as “Xi Yian”; transliterated as “Happiness Banquet”; translated as “wedding banquet”). It is usually held in hotels.”

“Recently because of Covid there has been very few wedding banquets. But after Covid restrictions are gone, people will hold their banquets like before.”

b) Traditional Wedding

When asked to recount the informant’s own wedding, the informant responded with the following:

“In the old days weddings were very traditional and over-the-top. When the bride is wed into the groom’s family, there would be a truck that carries all of the bride’s furniture, such as her dressing table, to the groom’s house.”

“There would be someone called the *媒人 (*Mandarin word read as “Mei Ren”), which is someone who holds the bride’s hand as she walks from her home to the groom’s home. There would also be another person who is usually someone that is higher aged, and is known to have a lot of *福氣(*Taiwanese word transliterated to Mandarin, read in Taiwanese as “Hou Ki”, means “luck/fortune”) to hold the bride’s hand and walk her to the groom’s house.”

c) Registering Marriage

When asked about how registering worked, the informant responded:

“Registering marriage is a separate thing from the engagement and wedding tradition. Couples can register whenever they want and it is very easy to do so at the local government building.”

2. Context

Informant relation to the piece:

The informant is a Taiwanese person of the more elderly generation who has lived in Taiwan their whole life. They recounted the piece from their memory having experienced many Taiwanese weddings in Taiwan.

Informant interpretation of the piece:

They interpret the rituals as a tradition that has been passed down through generations in Taiwan but is also changing due to modernization. They look back at old rituals with nostalgia and a sense of humor. They feel proud sharing Taiwanese traditional customs.

3. Analysis

In traditional Taiwanese culture, parents and the older generation members of the family play a huge role in the engagements and marriages of their sons and daughters. This tradition could have developed from ancient Chinese society where marriage decided whether a family prospered or not, therefore a great amount of care and control is exercised over the marriable children of the family. In addition, families also used marriage as a tool to gain status or riches, whereas royal families would use marriage to make peace with other nations as tools of warfare. Therefore, there is this longstanding tradition of the parents deciding spouses and planning marriage for the children. This is reflected in the Taiwanese engagement and wedding ritual collected above as the parents are present throughout the ritual and hold a great amount of power in the rituals, preparing gifts and hosting banquets. This ritual has a profound impact on how Taiwanese people view marriage. Young people may find themselves feeling suppressed by the marriage expectations of their parents or elders who hold such an important role in the marriage rituals, therefore when considering potential spouses the preference of the parents or elders in the family is often a huge factor that influences their decisions. If young people do choose to engage and marry someone without the blessing of the older generations, it would be difficult for them to perform the Taiwanese engagement and wedding ritual as they would be missing important people who are part of the ceremony. This is not to say that marriages are all traditional in Taiwan, in fact, Taiwan is the very first Asian country to legalize gay marriage. Therefore the ritual is able to be performed in non-traditional contexts. This suggests that it is not the ritual that is creating the rigid framework for marriage but rather the perspective of the parents and older generations, which if changed, can make this marriage ritual a celebratory one rather than controlling.

Cash gifts ending in 1 or 5

Nationality: Indian-American
Age: 59
Occupation: Lawyer
Residence: Richmond, VA
Language: English

Ritual:

A cash gift in India will end with the number 1 or 5. So, if giving money as a gift, the amount will be 11, or 21, or 31 and so on. Even higher amounts like 51, 101 – the extra rupee or dollar is for good luck.

Context:

JG is 59 years old and my mother. She grew up in India with a very religious Hindu family, before immigrating to the USA. Her parents were spiritual and superstitious. As a child, she participated in lots of rituals that were believed to provide good luck.

Analysis:

First of all, now I know why whenever a family member gives me money for my birthday, it’s always $51 rather than $50, for example. I have always wondered that but felt awkward asking.

Second, I relate to the practice of having lucky numbers. Personally, mine is 13 because of Taylor Swift. I have done something similar myself. When I was donating to a GoFundMe set up by a fellow Swiftie, I added an extra 13 cents to my donation (because they would understand). The 13’s are more for fun than anything else, but from my understanding, the 1’s and 5’s are said to ward off evil spirits.

There’s no logical link between numbers and good luck, but sometimes we like to think there is one. Whether that is for fun, or to relieve our anxiety about a situation, lucky numbers definitely play a huge role in a lot of cultures.

Eating yogurt before leaving the house

Nationality: Indian-American
Age: 59
Occupation: Lawyer
Residence: Richmond, VA

Ritual:

If you eat a spoonful of plain yogurt before leaving home for something important, it brings good luck – including job interviews, tests, long vacations, etc.

Context:

JG is 59 years old and my mother. She grew up in India with a very religious Hindu family, before immigrating to the USA. Her parents were spiritual and superstitious. As a child, she participated in lots of rituals that were believed to provide good luck.

Analysis:

I vaguely remember my mom doing this ritual with me when I was in elementary school. I had always assumed it was for nutritious purposes – because I know we give milk to kids to help them grow taller, and yogurt is processed milk. However, I was surprised to learn it’s part of a superstition. Lots of people incorporate small rituals into their routines, especially on important days.

Upon further research, I learned that another variation of this superstition is eating yogurt mixed with sugar. This one has a somewhat more logical explanation that is based in Ayurvedic tradition. In this way, it is a folk medicine practice. The yogurt is a coolant for the body and the sugar gives you instant energy.

There is no logical connection between eating yogurt and having a successful job interview, for instance (even if there’s a correlation, that does not always equal causation). But, we like to think there is one in order to relieve our anxiety. It makes us feel like we have control over the results in more ways than we actually do. Our decisions about what to do, especially on important days for us, aren’t always rooted in logic that can be proven.

Navratras festival – not using sharp objects

Nationality: Indian-American
Age: 59
Occupation: Lawyer
Residence: Richmond, VA
Language: English

Ritual:

There is a Hindu holiday, which occurs twice a year, called Navratras. It lasts 9 days. During these 9 days, people who fast do not use any sharp objects, except for a knife to cut food. People do not cut nails or hair or shave for 9 days. It is believed to bring bad luck if you use sharp objects.

Context:

JG is 59 years old and my mother. She grew up in India with a very religious Hindu family, before immigrating to the USA. She still practices Hinduism to this day, and follows all of the religion’s traditions, observes the festivals, and believes in its myths to this day. She tried to pass this on to me as a child, but her religious beliefs never really connected with me. She agreed to retell this celestial myth to me for this assignment.

Analysis:

The Navratras is a Hindu festival in which people worship Goddess Durga by fasting. Some people believe that Goddess Durga stood on the tip of a needle while fighting the evil forces – this is why sharp objects, like needles, are probably associated with bad luck. The festival has its origins in ancient Hindu texts and has been observed for centuries – this shows the great effort that many Indian cultures make to preserve their stories and traditions. This particular aspect of fasting is probably a form of making physical sacrifices, in the form of small changes in one’s everyday lifestyle, for the gods.

Wearing the same shirt to all tests in nursing school

Nationality: White
Age: 28
Occupation: Nurse
Residence: Los Angeles, California
Primary Language: English

Ritual:

When AH was in nursing school, she would always wear a specific Brett Eldredge shirt to tests. She believed that it brought her good luck.

Context:

I met the informant, AH, through friends when we saw Kelsea Ballerini together. She likes many other country artists as well, including Brett Eldredge. He is her favorite singer and he feels like a good luck charm to her. Plus, wearing his merch gives her a sense of comfort as she walks into stressful situations like nursing school tests. AH started doing this on her own early in her nursing school years.

Analysis:

I related to what AH said, as I have done the same with Taylor Swift shirts during big tests for school. The superstitious belief that certain things we wear, especially if we associate them with people we love, can bring us good luck is very common. Realistically, there is no direct link between what we wear and how well we do on our tests – there might be a correlation, but that doesn’t always equal causation. But, we like to think there is one in order to relieve our anxiety. It makes us feel like we have control over the results in more ways than we actually do. Of course, this is done after hours of studying, but when you value academic performance as much as AH and I do, you’re under the mindset that every little thing helps. Neither of us are very religious, but this ritual does reflect our belief in luck and superstition, to an extent. Our decisions about what to do, especially on important days like test days, aren’t always rooted in logic that can be proven.