Tag Archives: family

A Saying on the Nature of Life

Informant Info:

  • Nationality: Mexican
  • Age: 50
  • Occupation: N/A
  • Residence: Los Angeles 
  • Primary language: Spanish 
  • Relationship: mother 

Text:

EP provided me with the following folk speech in Spanish, “La vida está llena de lágrimas y ricas.” The literal english translation is, “Life is full of tears and laughs.”

Context:

EP immigrated from Mexico to the united states about 23 years ago. She brought with her all the sayings, folkspeech, and proverbs from her culture. The informant first heard this saying from her mother. She emphasizes that her mother always repeated this to her because she recalls that her mother “sufre mucho.” Sufria mucho means that she suffered a lot. Growing up in her household, EP remembers her mother saying the proverb when there was family problems or when someone would die. EP said, “Ahora te estas riendo con esa persona, y mañana ya esta muerta.” This means that today you can be laughing with a person, and tomorrow that person could be dead. 

Interpretation:

I, myself have grown up hearing this saying as well, and I was first introduced to it by my mom. When she first told me it, I remember being in a crisis and it was her way of telling me it was okay. I interpreted this proverb as meaning life is full of ups and downs. There will be moments of suffering, but also joy. It is a way of accepting that life comes with difficulties, but we must also remember all the good moments. I know that this folk speech is typically said amongst Latin-x communities. The phrase is usually told during moments of hardship, mourning, or sadness. 

A Latin-x Proverb directed at Women

Informant Info:

  • Nationality: Mexican
  • Age: 22
  • Occupation: full time student
  • Residence: Los Angeles
  • Primary language: English
  • Relationship: Friend

Text:

“Calladita te ves más bonita”

English translation: “The more quiet you are, the prettier you look”

Context:

ES grew up here in Los Angeles, but her parents are from Mexico. The proverb pertains to her Mexican culture and household. She first heard the proverb above from her grandmother. Her grandmother would tell her “Calladita te ves más bonita” as a form of advice. ES told me, “I always interpreted it meaning that oversharing can be dangerous from listening ears, or the less you say the better.” She also told me that she remembers her and her aunt would use the phrase as a comeback in a lighthearted way to make each other laugh. ES pointed out that she never had realized it before, but the phrase is targeted towards girls/women. 

Analysis:

I also grew up hearing the proverb in my culture, and I greatly identified with the informants take on the phrase. When discussing the proverb with her, I too realized that it is a saying that isn’t really said to men/boys. In Spanish the ending of a word is meant to distinguish between genders. If the word ends with ‘a’ it is usually feminine. The words ‘calladita’ and ‘bonita’ end with an ‘a’ and are feminine. If it were targeted towards men, the words would end with ‘o’ and be considered masculine. Growing up, I never heard the saying told to my male companions. Sometimes in Latin-x culture, there can be a lot of toxic masculinity or “machismo.” Machismo means a sense of strong masculine pride, male overbearing control over the wife and family, and sexist ideology. Younger I didn’t really associate toxic masculinity with the saying, but now from an older, more mature point of view, I can acknowledge that it is present. ES and I were having a conversation about how in our latino culture, it is very much embedded into women from a young age to sit still, look pretty, and be quiet. Of course, we aren’t trying to stereotype our culture from this lens, we are simply acknowledging some patterns we noticed. 

No Crowmouthing yourself

Context

“No Crowmouthing yourself” means to not say things like car crash, suicide, cardiac arrest, especially in correlation to anyone in the family. “Joking things like “I’m going to die” is definitely going to get me scolded by my grandparents even in a joking way, and they’d call that “crow mouthing.” big nono, not safe, and they’d give a whole lecture about how to be better in a well being since… they had it rough in their life,” reports my informant. Her parents and grandparents lived through many different wars, and thus they believe that dangerous things like swimming in the river, riding a roller coaster, or speaking of things related to death put your wellbeing at risk. In China, this proverb is used quite often and is a big theme in Chinese culture. Younger people tend to say it to themselves to scold themselves. 

An example of this proverb being used genuinely goes as follows:

Person 1: “Oh god, I have a flight this afternoon, I hope the plane won’t crash haha.”

Person 2: “Stop! Do not crowmouth yourself, saying plane crash is such a bad thing.”

However, later this proverb has evolved into a dark joke, akin to saying “Haha imma kill myself.” An example of it being used in this way goes as follows:

Person 1: “I’m going to die because of this assignment”

Person 2: “Haha, crow mouthing yourself, huh?”

As my informant says, “it’s a bit morbid but silly funny.” She believes because society has become more safe, “the past concerns of war, hunger, limits and so on don’t exist in this modern time in China,” and thus a proverb that may have held great weight in the past doesn’t scare the youth today.

Analysis

I find it interesting how proverbs can change from being held with great meaning to being used in a sarcastic joke. Perhaps a combination of a change in environment, like my informant said, and the fact that proverbs are typically widespread and are a collective knowledge have a hand in this evolution of the ways certain proverbs are used now.

Proverb: A Gift Horse

Text: “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.”

Context: G is a 20 years old Animation and Digital Arts major from Birmingham, UK. He is a junior at USC and has been living in the area for 3 years.

This text is one of a few proverbs G could remember, but he believes he first heard this proverb when he was given a hand-me-down article of clothing and was “being ungrateful” about it. He remembers an older family member, likely a grandparent, telling him this.

Interpretation: After being provided with this text by my informant, I asked my roommate (a self-proclaimed ex-equestrian), if they knew anything about the proverb, as it’s quite popular. They confirmed that looking a horse in its mouth isn’t just a silly part of the saying. You can tell a horse’s age and other facts about its health quality by its teeth. The proverb is saying that, if you receive a horse as a gift, you shouldn’t check its mouth for its age or how its cared for – if you are given something as a gift, you shouldn’t try to find fault in it. I find it particularly interested that this is something my informant initially heard when he was younger, in childhood. He specifically remembered it being a hand-me-down, which is worth discussing because he found fault with something used. As a child, he wasn’t initially grateful for something because it was technically a gift, but he also didn’t know that society would expect him to see the used clothing as a gift. An older family member being the one to tell him this proverb is fitting with what we know about proverbs; it’s a piece of advice coming from someone with more life experience. It also speaks to the fact that society teaches humility and gratitude as a kind of obligation to children – as something not instinctual that dictates how we all should behave.

Proverb: Blood and Water

Text: “Blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.”

Context: G is a 20 years old Animation and Digital Arts major from Birmingham, UK. He is a junior at USC and has been living in the area for 3 years.

G said he initially heard the more popular version of this saying – “Blood is thicker than water” – at some point when he was younger. He says that he believes it was one of his teachers that later told him the actual proverb, the one listed above in text.

Interpretation: What’s interesting is that G chose to tell me the longer version of this proverb, but acknowledged the shorter version. This more popular version is used as an argument for familial bonds being stronger than others, while the version in text argues that relationships we form are stronger. While this may or may not be actually true, G believes the version he told me is the original, and that people are misquoting it in the shorter, ‘newer’ version. The key words “covenant” and “womb” are left out. This proverb which I’ve quoted from G is pretty straightforward, although metaphorical, saying that the bonds we choose to form and strengthen (covenant meaning agreement or trust) are stronger than those we cannot chose (those created solely by the womb). It’s definitely a type of advice, seemingly coming from someone experienced in life. What’s more, familial bonds being questioned is taboo in a number of cultures and societies, which seems to be why there are two different versions of this proverb circulating. It also speaks to the fact that my informant, who is a student at a college on an entirely different continent from his hometown (and his family), knows and references the version of the proverb that values formed relationships over inherited ones.