Tag Archives: gift giving

Indian money-giving superstition

Context: The participant, my roomate (intials NS), comes from an Indian family that now lives in the Bay Area. Both her parents were born in India and partake in the pra

Text:

NS: Anytime you give money to someone for a wedding or birthday, let’s say around $100, you’re supposed to give $101 or else it’s bad luck.

Me: Who is it bad luck for: you or the person getting the money?

NS: the recipient

Me: And what is it about adding $1 that’s ‘good luck?

NS: It’s not really the $1 but when a number isn’t whole or even its harder to divide mathematically. So it symbolizes growth and prosperity.

NS: Whole numbers are like ‘flat’ and ‘finished’ so by giving a indivisible number you’re giving out wishes of growth and endless possibilities to the person.

Me: Wow, so do you partake in this or have you just grown up with people who have.

NS: Well, I don’t really give a lot of people money haha but for the Indian holiday, Raksha Bandhan, my brother gives me an uneven amount of money?

Me: Can you explain this holiday?

NS: Yeah, so a sister ties a bracelet around her brother and in return, the brother gives her money. It’s supposed to be before the brother goes off to war, and the money would help her survive if he happened to die at war. The bracelet is also supposed to be for good fortune and symbolizes their bond.

Analysis:

The practice of adding a single dollar is a type of blessing in Indian culture. In this form of numerology, a round number represents completion or a closed cycle, which can symbolically suggest the end of a relationship, wealth, or growth. By adding one, the giver creates an uneven and indivisible number that is hard to find an even split of. This acts as a catalyst for continuity, ensuring that the gift remains open and invites future prosperity to follow. It effectively shifts the transaction from a commercial payment to a sacred offering, signaling that the bond between the giver and the receiver is meant to be undying and ever-expanding.

Don’t Give an Umbrella as a Gift

Text: I had mentioned to KH that I had gotten someone an umbrella as a gift, and she stopped me. “You’re like not supposed to do that, right?” she said. The word for umbrella, 伞 (sǎn), sounds nearly identical to 散 (sàn), which means to scatter. To give someone an umbrella is to wish the two of you scattered, dispersed. There is a workaround: if the recipient gives the giver a coin, even a penny, in return, the umbrella becomes a transaction rather than a gift, and the negative implications no longer apply.

Context: Told to me by my friend KH, a Chinese American student, after I mentioned that I had bought an umbrella as a gift. She had heard the rule from her parents, who emigrated from China. The homophone pair is 伞 / 散: 伞 (sǎn, umbrella) and 散 (sàn, to scatter) differ only by tone. 

Analysis: This same homophonic logic shows up commonly in Chinese culture, where a linguistic sign is read as a small contagion that invokes the outcome it names. The umbrella case is a good example because the prohibition attaches to one ordinary household object and to one specific verb. An exchanged coin transforms the gift into a purchase, and the relabeling alone is held to neutralize the linguistic risk. It’s not always the case that these homophonic folklores have such convenient workarounds. The changing “gift” to “purchase” suffices to break the spell.

Christmas present fakeout

Nationality: American
Age: 60
Occupation: Computer Security
Language: English

“The tradition was, we would have to go to the store to get batteries or milk or something and we were anticipating Santa coming. And we were like “oh no, we don’t want to miss Santa” because Santa gave presents the day before, on the 24th because we celebrated at home. And then Christmas day, we’d go to my dad’s parent’s house. Well, when we lived out that way. Or I guess now the way we do it is [informant’s family side] 24th and [informant’s spouse’s side] on the 25th. So we’re waiting for Santa Claus and then my mother would say “hey, we need batteries/milk/something”” so we’d all go out and when we came back Santa had visited and the tree was lit and presents were under the tree. As I grew up, it was me taking my siblings to the store. And so the story repeats.  

Context: “When I was little, for Christmas. At least since I was maybe four, until my siblings were in their teens.”

Informant does not tie this to national identity and wondered how their parents did it because informant didn’t believe in Santa.

“I don’t know if we did that with the relatives up north, I think it was just my family doing that. And I don’t remember my parents talking about doing it. I think we did it with the boys but I don’t know. And I don’t know if we’ll do it with the great granddaughter, once she’s cognizant. “

Analysis: This tradition acts as a way to prepare for a larger tradition, that of Santa bringing presents at Christmas. This variation places the gift giving earlier in the evening, not at midnight as some versions have or in the early morning, as it is imperative for a store to still be open. In order to preserve the magic of the gift giving, the magic of the evening is falsely broken. The parent says that they need to go to the store for something right away, leading the children to assume they have to stop the Christmas celebrations and will miss Santa. Of course, this serves as a decoy so that they can return to a magical Christmas-filled house and partake more fully in the festivities then. The idea of this ‘false exit’ is effective, and also allows the older children to keep participating past the age of their belief. They are able to become the one taking younger siblings to the store and therefore become a weaver of the magic themselves, taking a more active role and shifting their satisfaction towards continuing the tradition for younger children. This tradition can span several generations, as the informant mentions, and continuously invites improvisation and variation so that the children can be surprised and delighted by Santa’s visit. 

Proverb: A Gift Horse

Text: “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.”

Context: G is a 20 years old Animation and Digital Arts major from Birmingham, UK. He is a junior at USC and has been living in the area for 3 years.

This text is one of a few proverbs G could remember, but he believes he first heard this proverb when he was given a hand-me-down article of clothing and was “being ungrateful” about it. He remembers an older family member, likely a grandparent, telling him this.

Interpretation: After being provided with this text by my informant, I asked my roommate (a self-proclaimed ex-equestrian), if they knew anything about the proverb, as it’s quite popular. They confirmed that looking a horse in its mouth isn’t just a silly part of the saying. You can tell a horse’s age and other facts about its health quality by its teeth. The proverb is saying that, if you receive a horse as a gift, you shouldn’t check its mouth for its age or how its cared for – if you are given something as a gift, you shouldn’t try to find fault in it. I find it particularly interested that this is something my informant initially heard when he was younger, in childhood. He specifically remembered it being a hand-me-down, which is worth discussing because he found fault with something used. As a child, he wasn’t initially grateful for something because it was technically a gift, but he also didn’t know that society would expect him to see the used clothing as a gift. An older family member being the one to tell him this proverb is fitting with what we know about proverbs; it’s a piece of advice coming from someone with more life experience. It also speaks to the fact that society teaches humility and gratitude as a kind of obligation to children – as something not instinctual that dictates how we all should behave.

Ethiopian Wedding Gifting Traditions

Informant AM is a graduate student from San Jose California, whose family is originally from Ethiopia. There is a strong Ethiopian diasporic community in San Jose, where much of its traditions live on.

Text:

“My grandpa actually told me this, I didn’t know this was a thing. So, friends and family of the bride and groom, they give gifts to the parents, and usually the gift is money. I have no idea why. My grandpa told his friends, like ‘I have 11 children, you don’t have to give me gifts after each child.'”

Context:

Informant AM witnessed this tradition in primarily Ethiopian Orthodox Christian weddings. Ethiopia is a country with 36 million Orthodox Christians as of 2017, according to the Pew Research Center (Diamant). Ethiopian Orthodox culture is patriarchal, taking cues from religious hierarchy barring women from positions in the clergy among other examples set by the Bible and Orthodox customs. Similar, Ethiopian Orthodox culture places a heavy emphasis on the knowledge of elders and the importance of family.

Analysis:

Ethiopian wedding gifting traditions reflect the importance of family. For example, informant AM mentioned that it is customary to presents gifts to the couple’s parents, as well as to the couple itself. The practice resembles other traditions practiced in Ethiopia and other countries which emphasize family influence, such as the custom of gaining parental approval before marriage. One such tradition in Ethiopia is known as ሽማግሌ, or shimagelay, which translates to “elder.” In this custom, the groom sends his parents to deliberate with the parents of the bride before a marriage proposal can officially be made. This discussion mainly consists of the groom’s parents convincing the bride’s parents that the groom can adequately take care of the bride, reflecting both patriarchal values and the value of elders’ opinions in Ethiopian culture (Habeshabrides). Yet, informant AM also mentioned that her grandpa advised his friends not to give him gifts, indicating that Ethiopians are willing to be flexible about practicing this tradition for the sake of practicality.

Works Cited:

“Brides of the Blue Nile.” Habeshabrides, https://habeshabrides.com/culture/brides-of-the-blue-nile/.