Tag Archives: grief

Borrowed Keys

Nationality: American/Mexican
Age: 19
Occupation: Student
Residence: West Covina, CA
Language: English/Spanish

TEXT: “When I was a lot younger, my grandfather passed away, and I was heartbroken. I tried not to remember him so I wouldn’t get sad and start crying, but when that wouldn’t work, my mom started a wholesome joke to keep his memory alive. Anytime someone would misplace something or lose it, she would say, “Abuelo probably borrowed it”. It was a little thing that meant a lot, since he would always misplace things or lose them and borrow other people’s instead. One morning, I was looking for my keys, since we needed to leave for a family dinner, and I couldn’t find them for the life of me. I looked all around my room and our house, but no luck. As I finished checking our kitchen and living room, I headed back up to my room in hopes of finding them, and there they were. My keys were sitting on my desk when I walked back in, and when I told my mom, she laughed and said, “Abuelo’s always around”.

CONTEXT: This short personal narrative describes the quiet impact of grief and the small, meaningful ways families keep loved ones present after they’ve passed. The narrator recalls the death of their grandfather during childhood and how that early loss brought emotional difficulty. In response, the narrator’s mother introduces a gentle family tradition: joking that “Abuelo probably borrowed it” whenever something goes missing. This phrase becomes a wholesome coping mechanism that transforms grief into connection.

ANALYSIS: This memorate serves as a wholesome example of how families create small traditions that keep the memory of loved ones alive. The informant’s family marked the moment of loss in a gentle way by saying something meaningful that offered a small comfort, “Abuelo probably borrowed it.” The missing keys provide a bit of mystery, but it’s less about animating the dead and more about how memory, love, and belief intersect and interact in daily life. The mom’s response is an indication of how this small ritual comforts the grieving family and allows the grandfather to still have a presence in the family narrative, even though he has passed.

La Llorona

Nationality: American
Age: 19
Occupation: Student
Residence: United States
Language: English

Text:

“So one story that I’ve heard growing up a lot in my life is the legend of La Llorona. I first heard it as a very young child probably 5 or 6 years old. My parents, grandma and tias would tell me about her. It’s a story where a young woman had two children a little boy and little girl. She lived in a small town in Mexico- her name Maria. She was very gorgeous a town treasure and had a loving personality. She was a stay at home mom who worked really hard. She had a husband who was a soldier and he would come visit her when he wasn’t out working but one day she caught him cheating on her with another woman. This made her grow furious and jealous and out of pure disgust towards her husband she ended up taking her young children to the river and drowned them. After killing them she realized what she did and immediately got so heartbroken trying to resurrect them. After failed attempts she drowned herself hoping to be with her kids in heaven. However when she died God didn’t let her in. Because of what she did she was forced to wander the earth in search of her children’s souls and only then will she be let in. Little did she know her children’s souls were already in heaven. So she’s now doomed to walk the Earth grounds. She wanders around rivers and lakes late in the night. She screamed/cries out “Ohhh mis hijos!!” (Oh, my children) And when you hear her cry late at night you’re already doommed cause she’s nearby even if she seems further away. It’s said if she is to find you she will become enraged realizing you’re not her kids and drown you in the closest body of water. She’s genuinely search a cursed spirit filled with much despair, grief and anger. She’s known to appear with long dark hair and a dirty white long dress.”

Context:

The informant says that even though they personally don’t believe in it, they’ve heard stories of family members encountering it, making it somewhat believable. They find it fascinating and tragic and finds it to be a story that they would pass down to others, especially having grown up with it themselves.

Analysis:

This narrative represents a legend as it occurs in the real world with some possible truth to it. It represents a story of injustice, jealousy, and grief, causing this pain to be continuously passed down to other people. It suggests the theme of being careful when you go out at night or else something bad might happen to you, which is also probably why it is told to young children as to warn against them from going out to unsafe places. La Llorona represents a revenant, a spirit brought back from the dead for revenge, or as spirit with unfinished business. The story also represents a religious concentration as the reason why she cannot move on is because of God not letting her into heaven due to the consequence of suicide. This focuses on the idea of motherhood due to the guilt she feels for murdering her kids in rage and dealing with infidelity from her husband, showing an importance for family and social connections in society.

La Llorona

  1. Details
    1. Collected on 03/23/2024 
    2. Genre: Legend
    3. Language: English 
    4. Nationality: Mexican
    5. Relationship to Informant: Friend’s Father 
  2. Text
    1. Summary
      1. The informant’s mother told him a version of the La Llorona legend where there was a woman who lived her life in torment after her children fell into the river and died. 
    2. Direct transcription of folklore:
      1. “You are going into my memory banks here, but my mother used to tell us about this woman who was very afflicted because her children had drowned in the river. And you could hear her wailing ‘ah mis hijos’ – oh, my children. So, it was almost a tale my mom would tell us so not to do dangerous things because she would be forever depressed. It wasn’t so much that this was an evil person that did something bad because I think La Llorona – the original one – drowned her children. In the version my mom would tell us, the children fell into the river and drowned. So, she would wail forever for her children.”
  3. Context 
      1. The informant is the father of my friend. He grew up in a small town in Mexico. This story was told to the informant by his mother when he was a child. 
  4. Analysis 
      1. This oikotype of the La Llorona legend portrays the woman as a grieving mother who lost her children. This legend was told by a mother to her children to prevent them from risking their lives by doing dangerous things. This legend tells the children that if they aren’t careful, they can cause their mother to mourn for the rest of her life. 

Led by Spirits, Dreamscape Exploring

Age: 19
Performance Date: 3/31/2024

Text:

“So basically, after my brother passed away, his boyfriend had a dream probably a few weeks after he passed, where my brother walked with him around our high school. The thing is, he had never been to our high school before. The next day after he had the dream he described what he had seen in the dream to some of my brother’s other friends and they said what he described matched perfectly.”

Context:

L is a 19 year old student, from Redwood City, CA, but at the time of the story lived in Saratoga. Her brother passed while they were in high school, and she told me this story about his boyfriend who experienced something inexplicable. She heard the story about his dream from her mother who had been told it originally by the boyfriend.

Analysis:

L’s story delves into themes of grief, connection, and the mysterious nature of dreams, while also touching upon cultural and personal beliefs regarding the afterlife and the power of spiritual connections. it centers around the loss of L’s brother, highlighting the profound impact of death on individuals and families. It underscores the enduring bond between siblings and the ongoing process of coping with grief even after the loved one has passed away. The boyfriend’s dream, in which he is accompanied by L’s brother around the high school they both attended, suggests a belief in the possibility of spiritual visitations from deceased loved ones. This reflects broader cultural and personal beliefs in an afterlife or continued existence beyond physical death. The inexplicable nature of the boyfriend’s dream raises questions about the boundaries between reality and the subconscious mind. It prompts contemplation on the mysterious aspects of human experience and the potential for spiritual encounters that defy rational explanation.

Woman and Rabbit: A folk tale

Nationality: Chinese
Age: 20
Occupation: Student
Residence: Southern California
Performance Date: 4/1/23
Primary Language: English
Language: Chinese

Text

“One folk tale I know is a Chinese one– about the lady and rabbit on the moon. I don’t remember it that well.” The informant racked their brain for the information. “There was an immortal lady who was in love with a human man. Because of this, they weren’t meant to be together, though. So she was banished to live on the moon with the rabbit to keep her company. There, she waits for the man to come to her, but since he’s mortal, he died on earth. This is why you’re able to see a woman and a rabbit on the moon.”

Context

RELATIONSHIP –
“I don’t have much of a relationship with these pieces. It’s cool, but it was something I had to study. Everyone I knew, knew the story. It’s very much a Chinese folk tale that a lot of people here [in the U.S.] don’t tend to know or study.”

WHERE THEY HEARD IT –
“I had to study a lot of folk tales in Chinese school. They teach it everywhere. I had to read it a bunch then.”

INTERPRETATION –
“It’s just a cute fairy tale that people tell children. I don’t really think there’s a lesson, or says much about morals. It’s just an origin story explaining a part of the world people back then weren’t able to explain. Worldbuilding.”

Analysis

This folk tale seems very similar to one that I know about a woman named Chang’e and the love of her life named Houyi; and I think that they either are the same story, but my informant didn’t remember all the details, or they are different stories that derive from one another. While this story seems to serve primarily as the reasoning for why people can “see” the image of a woman and rabbit on the moon, it also works as a lesson. I think that an important part of this story is the fact that the woman stays, waiting on the moon for the man even though he has died long ago. She seems to be trapped in a denial stage of grief, refusing to move on. Because of this, she’s perpetually stuck, waiting both physically and emotionally.