Tag Archives: funeral customs

Shaving a Path to the Future- Congolese Funeral Tradition

Nationality: Congolese American
Age: 20
Occupation: Student
Performance Date: 4/19/2020
Primary Language: English
Language: Lingala

Context: This is a tradition that takes place when a Congolese woman’s husband passes away. My informant [OD] learned of this tradition from her dad and witnessed it occur when her uncle passed away.

  • What occurs?
    • When her uncle died, her cousin[his daughter] and aunt[his wife] shaved their heads as a means of honoring him and paying their respects. 
  • What was her opinion?
    • OD thought the tradition was very symbolic and powerful. By shaving their heads, her aunt and cousin marked a new phase in the life of their family. In addition, OD believed that it was valuable to maintain these traditions as Congolese Americans. Given the fact that they were in another country, maintaining these traditions was very important to her and those within her community.
  • Thoughts: After listening to OD’s explanation of this Congolese tradition, I agreed with the aspects of maintaining tradition as I am Nigerian American myself. Shaving one’s head to honor the life of a loved one may be viewed as very extreme from an outside lens, but because I have witnessed similar acts it was not that odd or strange to me. When my grandfather passed away, my parents flew back to Nigeria to attend his funeral. From my mom’s accounts, because of my grandfather’s status within his community, it was a tradition that all of the members of his family[wife, children, inlaws] dressed like him to both honor and emulate his spirit. This was a really powerful and symbolic gesture similar to OD’s tradition, it marked a new phase in my family’s life. While my grandfather had passed on, his spirit and legacy would live on in the members of his family. While it’s difficult to maintain traditions away from home[Nigeria or the Congo], in both cases, it is important to preserve them because they have such important value and continue to teach those who practice them more about themselves and where they come from. Traditions are important to me and I am inspired by the powerful meanings behind simple acts as shaving one’s head and even dressing like a deceased loved one. These traditions take on new subjective meanings to the families and communities that practice them and continue to preserve the connections between them and their respective cultures.

Vietnamese Funeral Traditions

Nationality: Vietnamese
Age: 25
Occupation: PhD Candidate
Residence: Los Angeles
Performance Date: 3/29/2020
Primary Language: Vietnamese
Language: English

Main story: 

Transcribed from my friend telling me about an event from his childhood memories. My friend will be referred to as TA and myself as MH. 

TA: Funerals are a bit different in Vietnam than here. Honestly, it gets a little crazy with the amount of people. But essentially what happens is that when the person dies they are put in a coffin for people to come and visit- I don’t know do you guys do that here? 

MH: Catholicism does open caskets during the funeral service in the church but that is usually the extent. 

TA: hmm, yeah this is usually a couple days long. So the date is set for the main service and then the few days leading up to the service like every single person in the family, including distant relatives, come visit and pay respects. It’s kind of insane how many people roll through. And then, on the main day when the casket is on the way to the burial grounds people will line the streets to say goodbye. 

MH: Like the entire way? 

TA: Sometimes, but not all the time. It’s like here in LA, you wouldn’t line up along the 10 West but you could line up alone Jefferson St leading up to the freeway entrance. That sort of thing, obviously if you are super rural then you could I guess go the whole way; but yeah that’s the main idea. And if you have money then you like have to get live music to be played, but it’s not a party it’s like sad music but you should do it if you can afford it. 

MH: Does it end there? Are there any post burial events? 

TA: Yeah, kinda. You have to go and visit the grave sight kinda frequently after the person is buried and bring them things. 

MH: Anything? Or like their favorite things? 

TA: You bring flowers, and usually their favorite food. And then you kind of just keep doing that forever haha. I guess until you die and the cycle repeats. But I think it’s a nice way to remember the dead. It may just be me though. 

Background: 

The informant grew up in South Vietnam and finds himself questioning some of the funerary tactics found in western cultures. Such as the typical Irish wake where people drink and tell stories and sort of be both sad but also cheery at the same time. 

Context : 

I was chatting with my friend on a video call during quarantine here in L.A. and I was curious about things he finds really different back home in Vietnam compared to here in the United states. 

My thoughts: 

I am Irish and Italian Catholic by heritage. So I couldn’t help but laugh when my friend was confused by the seemingly celebratory funerary practices of the Irish. I do think it was interesting how he found it disrespectful to spend the day drinking and remaining once the funeral service is over instead of a more somber procession. 

An Irish Wake

Nationality: American
Age: 70
Occupation: Health Care Worker
Residence: Alton, Illinois
Performance Date: 4/28/2020
Primary Language: English

Main piece:

(The following is transcribed from a conversation between the informant and interviewer.)

Informant: Grandpa, he always used to tell the story about the Irish – I’ve told you this one before – about the Irish wakes – cause the Irish always had the big parties. And, uhh, that was back in the days, when, you know… they were having a party for one of the guys that had just expired. And he was in the kitchen laid out on the kitchen table! And everybody was, you know, laughing and going on because… they celebrate death, in a different way. And so. (laughing) and then all of a sudden the guy sat up! Because they didn’t have embalming back there, and back then and stuff, you know. You just – they just, they laid you out and you wait a couple days-they – you know, they didn’t keep you around for very long cause you start smellin’. So, you know, people with diabetic comas and stuff like that they didn’t know about that back then, so, uhh, he just sat up! (laughs) And he wasn’t dead anymore! He asked for a beer! He said, “everyone’s drinking a beer, I want one too.” I think I would’ve been scared out of my mind!

Interviewer: Right!

Informant: Eh, if your grandpa- when he told it it was always funnier.

Interviewer: No, that was funny!

Background: My informant was born and raised in southern Illinois to very strict Catholic parents. She has strong Irish and Italian heritage. This is a joke/story that I’ve heard many times since growing up, in slight variations.

Context: The informant is my grandmother, and has always had a proclivity for telling stories, jokes, and wives tales. This piece was selected out of many from a recording of a long night of telling stories in a comfortable environment.

Thoughts: I think that the main joke in this story is that the Irish drink a lot, which is a simple and common theme for Irish stories and jokes and stereotypes. There is also a layer in which the man waking up is funny in itself, though I’ve realized it has to do with who is telling the story. I’ve heard it told more straightforward and snappily, getting to the line at the end where the man says he wants a beer as if it’s more of a punchline. In this telling, however, my grandmother focused around the absurdity of someone you thought was dead sitting up and thinking everything was fine.

Open Casket Funeral Ritual

Nationality: American
Age: 54
Occupation: Off the Grid Director of Partnerships
Residence: California
Performance Date: March 13, 2021
Primary Language: English
Language: none

Main Piece: 

Informant-  I recently attended an open casket funeral for a family member. It was a graveside burial in the farmlands of North Carolina. Due to COVID, it was an odd liminal time period and therefore no one was hugging. My parents and I approached the tent which held the casket and prepared to say our goodbyes to the body. We each individually gathered close to the casket, reached down, and touched our deceived family member. I left her side and allowed time for my mother and father to say their goodbyes

Interviewer- Could everyone at the funeral approach the casket to say their goodbyes?

Informant- No the tent which held the open casket was for family members only. After the family members said their goodbye the casket was closed and brought to the burial location outside fo the tent. There, the coffin was closed and open for members of the community to observe.

Interviewer- Was touching the body an important part of the ritual? 

Informant- Touching the body is important because you receive a feeling that the soul has passed onto heaven. Each person holds is entitled to their own beliefs of touching the body or not but it is very important for me. Her body is left behind but is no longer the home for her soul. Touching the body allowed me to understand that her soul lives on in heaven and is no longer on earth. This is a moving experience. 

Background: The informant is 54 years old and returned to his home town in North Carolina to attend the funeral. The informant has strong religious views as a Christian. He has attended open casket funerals before and is familiar with the custom of touching the dead body. He learned about the moving experience of touching the dead body from his minister at church years back. Ever since his first experience completing this ritual he has continued to hold its importance. This ritual connects him closer to god and the natural cycle of life. 

Context: I collected this piece by interviewing the informant after he returned from this trip to North Carolina for the funeral. The funeral occurred outside during the day with a group of people. 

Thoughts: This ritual holds great importance for connecting participates to the cycle of life and understanding the uncertainty of death. Death and funerals represent a very liminal period where folk customs allow people to connect with uncertainty. This ritual and the importance of touching the dead body allowed the informant to grasp the idea of the body and the soul. The body and the soul are disconnected after death. The body is only the temporary home for the soul and this ritual gives the family a time to understand the movement of the soul. 

Throwing A Pinch Of Salt Over The Shoulder – Buddhist Tradition

Nationality: American
Age: 20
Occupation: College Student
Residence: Irvine, California
Performance Date: 4/3/20
Primary Language: English

Main Piece: 

Subject: Um… I really don’t know the origins of this one… but… I believe it’s Buddhist or like… Asian. If we’re coming back from a funeral, a graveyard, or anything related to dead people, we don’t enter the house before throwing a pinch of salt over both of our shoulders. And it’s supposed to make sure that dead spirits don’t follow you into the house and haunt you. And I still abide by that.

Interviewer: When did you start doing that?

Subject: Ever since I was a kid, it was almost as customary as wearing like… black to a funeral. When you came back, sure enough, you threw salt over your shoulders.

Interviewer: Oh. Cool. Where did you first learn this?

Subject: Um… I probably got it from my dad. It was one of those things growing up… it falls more in line with Hawaiian superstition and East-Asian superstition than it does with like… Jew… Stuff. *laughter*

Context: The subject is a Sophomore studying Law, History, and Culture at USC. She is of Japanese and Ashkenazi descent, and a third generation resident of Hawaii.  She is a very close friend of mine, and is currently quarantined at her home in Irvine, California due to the Coronavirus pandemic. The following conversation happened over a facetime call when I asked her to tell me some traditional folklore connected to her heritage.

Interpretation: I had heard of throwing salt over your shoulder for good luck, but not in the context of after a funeral. I found that is a very common Buddhist folk tradition for scaring off spirits, as my subject mentioned. I thought it interesting that she learned the tradition in Hawaii, and it has Buddhist roots. I think that shows how culturally diverse Hawaii is. In addition to that, it is also a Christian tradition to throw salt over the left shoulder, because many Christians believe the devil lingers on the left shoulder and it can “blind” him. The Christian folk belief is likely how it was popularized in America. It was interesting how my subject described the tradition as being as customary as wearing black to a funeral. I think that traditions and rituals can become so normal that we take them for granted and subsequently forget the reasoning behind them.

For more on the topic, see:

Pettit, Carl. “Why Do We Throw Salt Over Our Shoulders for Good Luck?” TSM Interactive. Jan. 4, 2012. (Dec. 10, 2014) http://tsminteractive.com/salt-shoulders-good-luck/

Sue, Granny. “Pass the Salt Please: Salt Folklore and Superstitions.” Pass the Salt Please: Salt Folklore and Superstitions, 5 June 2017, grannysu.blogspot.com/2017/06/pass-salt-please-salt-folklore-and.html.