Category Archives: Adulthood

Coming-of-age, courtship, marriage, weddings

“Meet Me at the Airport, We’re Going to Tahiti”

Nationality: American
Age: 63
Occupation: Retired

Informant Information:

Age: 63

Date of Performance: 2/18/2025

Language: English

Nationality: American

Occupation: Retired

Primary Language: English

Residence: Alameda, California

Text:

“Meet me at the airport, we’re going to Tahiti.”

Context:

The informant, a native of Berkeley, California, has faced significant family hardships, including her mother’s sudden health crisis, her son’s chronic illness, and her brother’s child being diagnosed with autism. During particularly stressful moments, she and her siblings would jokingly text each other, saying, “Meet you at the airport, let’s go to Tahiti” or “I’m going to Tahiti right now, come join me.” This became their way of signaling that they had reached an emotional breaking point and needed a mental escape.

Analysis:

The metaphorical idea of escaping to Tahiti, an idyllic vacation destination, served as a form of humorous escapism for the informant and her family. By inviting each other to “meet at the airport” and “go to Tahiti,” they created a shared symbolic refuge—a way to momentarily detach from their struggles without actually leaving.

Tahiti, often associated with paradise and relaxation, represented the fantasy of escaping life’s burdens and finding peace. By extending this imaginary invitation, the informant and her siblings not only acknowledged their shared hardships but also reinforced their emotional support for one another. This expression worked simultaneously as a joke and coping mechanism that allowed them to communicate distress, offer solidarity, and maintain their bond through humor, despite adversity.

mother daughter proverb

fields:
AGE: mother and daughter current(50/23) when used (40/15)
Date_of_performance: 02/15/25
Language: English
Nationality: Canadian
Occupation: Artist/ retail worker
Primary Language: English
Residence: Toronto, canada

Quote: “For beauty you must suffer”

A folk phrase used by mothers to their daughters when teaching them the grooming rituals of a grown woman. from shaving, to waxing, to tight heels, or spanks its a way to acknowledge the effort one must put in to meet the beauty standard.

This phrase is was used by my mother and her mother before her, they were british woman so i don’t doubt that this is a folk phrase that can be traced back to the creation of the corset.

the folk that use this are woman and sister or motherly circles.

Dad’s Favorite Sayings

AGE: 59

DATE OF PERFORMANCE: 02/19/2025

LANGUAGE: English 

NATIONALITY: American 

OCCUPATION: Doctor 

PRIMARY LANGUAGE: Korean

RESIDENCE: New York 

For context, my dad is a very dry and sarcastic man.

Interviewer: Are there any particular phrases you remember growing up hearing? Or any of your own that you use?

TL: “No.” [Proceeds to think of any phrases he uses]

Interviewer: Oh well I remember your most common one: “Suck it up buttercup!”

TL: “Oh yes.”

[My mother]: “Your dad loves to say ‘Don’t be a knucklehead’ to you and your sister!”

Interviewer: Oh yes! You also say “You can’t teach stupid” a lot.

TL: “Mmm.” [This is him agreeing]

PERSONAL INTERPRETATION:

Because of my dad’s nature, it ended up with my mother and I leading the conversation from things that we remember my dad saying. While my dad might forget the things he says (which I personally feel that it’s common for people to forget the habitual phrases and words they use), my family and I remember it quite well. My dad loves to use proverbs or phrases that teach a lesson of some sort. After the interview, I asked my father where he learned these from and he stated it was a mix of his dad, TV, and the people he grew up playing sports around in NYC. What’s even more interesting is that I find myself using one of his phrases, “you can’t teach stupid” myself when giving advice to my friends. It’s incredibly interesting how common phrases and things we hear in our environments and families become a part of our subconscious.

‘A Person Leaves Behind their Name’

Age: 53

Date of Performance: 02/25/25

Language: English, Japanese

Nationality: Japanese

Occupation: Immigration Lawyer

Primary Language: Japanese

Residence: Tokyo, Japan

“Okay, thanks, Mom, for doing this.”

“Of course! Haha, I might have to think a bit first, though.”

“Take your time. So do you have any experience with these kinds of minor genres of folklore? Right here.”

“Yes, um, so when I was very young, maybe during grade school? We used to have a shrine, or altar? Called a 仏壇 (Butsudan) which was for my grandmother with a lot of things like 位牌 (ihai), which is like a wooden engraving of her name, 仏像 (butsuzo) which is basically a Buddha statue, and rice, and flowers, things you would honor the dead with. And so we’d typically say ‘人は死して名を残す (Hito wa shishite na o nokosu),’ which translates to ‘A person leaves behind their name.’ And… yeah.”

“Okay, and is this saying something you reflect on often, or have reflected on often? Does it still carry the same weight as maybe it once did?”

“Yes, I’d say so. I don’t think about death often, not because I push it away, but I have always acknowledged it. I am not sure if I am making sense, but I am not sure when the last time I have been scared of dying was.”

“No, you make perfect sense. Thank you.”

Context:

My mother came across this saying when she was very young, and her seeing a continual reminder of her deceased grandmother was a formative experience in how she conducts her life. The tradition of keeping a Butsudan shrine is commonly found in many Japanese homes, and it serves as a way to ritually honor the dead. The ihai has pretty much a direct tie to the proverb, as the only thing left of her deceased grandmother is her name, the memory of her name, on the shrine.

Analysis:

Based on my interpretation, it seems that her and her family, instead of shunning away from something as eery and dreadful as the idea of death, embrace it as a natural part of life. Everyone internally understands that death is an inevitability, but to keep a shrine dedicated to one who has passed is almost a symbolic gesture in acknowledging, even welcoming it into their home. It reframes death as not some tall, daunting, and inevitable experience, but a completely natural and almost mundane part of life. The proverb is a direct reflection of this attitude, that all you leave behind is your name. It is to embrace death and nothingness, while leaving behind you and your memory.

A Long Lost Friend

Nationality: American

Age: 81

Occupation: Retired

Residence: Mill Valley, CA

Performance Date: December 1st, 2024

Primary Language: English

Language: English

MAIN DESCRIPTION: 

“All right, a few years ago, normal morning I just woke up. I was gonna get up and go to to the bathroom. when I felt like I couldn’t get out of the bed. 
I felt like something was like sitting on me right I mean, I could still breathe and all, but I just felt like I couldn’t get up and I was thinking, is this a heart attack or something? And then finally I did get up and I went to the bathroom. I came back, got in bed and there, I felt it again. 
It was just like somebody sitting on me and and when I started with maybe I picked up my phone and looked at the date and it was July 2 and I suddenly remembered that that was the birthday of my best friend Leonore, who had died of breast cancer years before, and I think it was the first time I ever forgot her birthday and I think she was pissed that I forgot it. So after that, I mean after that everything went away and it was just that weird experience of having this presence there who didn’t hurt me, but was making herself known.”

INFORMANT’S OPINION:

JS: What do you think this appearance means spiritually?

MB: “I felt it related to our friendship, which started in sixth grade and we were she was my closest friend through high school and then once I started going with my husband uh and she she she developed an interest in Spanish culture. And she ended up um taking a job in Mexico and marrying a Mexican person there, had children with him and then later divorced him and she got tired of him and Mexico. 
And she came back and met a really wonderful guy who she married and they lived right in the East Bay until she developed breast cancer. She was she died at 49. It was terrible, so anyway, I felt it was just her maybe disappointment and a little annoyance that I had that remembered her birthday. 
But I didn’t feel it was evil. I mean, she wasn’t trying to kill me. Yeah like, “hey, it’s my birthday.””

PERSONAL INTERPRETATION:

Who can say for sure what our human connections to the afterlife or spiritual realm might be? There have been so many examples of people having near death experiences and describing similar sensations of light and hovering. It’s not hard to believe that Lenore paid a visit to MB, if not to just say hello, maybe to nudge MB to not forget her existence or her presence, even if only in spiritual form when she “sat on” her chest on her birthday.