Tag Archives: parental concern

Fan Death

Text: “In Korea you cannot sleep with the fan on in a closed room. You will die. My mom would come into my room at night and turn the fan off, and if she found me sleeping with it on, she would wake me up and get mad.” IW explained that some say the fan creates a vacuum and you suffocate, some say it lowers your body temperature too much and you get hypothermia and die. The fans they sell in Korea come with a built-in timer for this reason.

Context: IO is a Korean American student whose parents are first-generation immigrants from Korea. She heard the belief from her mother growing up. Within South Korea the belief is widespread enough that mainstream Korean newspapers have historically reported “death by electric fan” as a cause of overnight death, that the Korean Consumer Protection Board has issued formal warnings. IO does not really believe the fan can kill her, but she will not sleep with one running and still uses one that features a timer. 

Analysis: Fan death is one of the cleanest cases of a modern technological folk belief. Electric fans are 20th-century technology, so the belief cannot be ancient, yet it has matured remarkably quickly. Already a namesake of parent-to-child transmission at bedtime, multiple proposed mechanisms (of death) that vary by account, and a thick web of social and material reinforcement, from newspaper death reports to government warnings to the physical timers built into the fans sold in Korea. 

Finish Your Food, Children Are Starving

Text: My father, JW, was told by his parents in Ohio in the 1970s, whenever he refused to finish his dinner: “Finish your food, there are children starving in China.”

My mother, IW, who grew up in suburb of Beijing in the same decade, was told something similar: “把饭吃完，美国还有小孩没饭吃” (bǎ fàn chī wán, Měiguó hái yǒu xiǎohái méi fàn chī), literally: “finish your food, in America there are still children with no food to eat.”

Both invocations were performed at the dinner table. Both intended to produce guilt in a child sufficient to clear the plate. 

Context: In Ohio, JW’s parents and grandparents drew on a long American tradition of using China as the reference point for starving children. In Beijing, IW’s parents drew on Cultural Revolution rhetoric, in which capitalist America was officially characterized as a place of mass inequality and hunger. My parents realized this surprising symmetry in their respective childhoods after they had married. 

Analysis: The mealtime “starving children” phrase is a textbook example of folk speech functioning as parental disciplinary technique. What is notable here is the mirror: in the same decade, parents in Ohio and parents in a Beijing suburb were deploying the identical rhetorical structure with the other country supplying the sympathetic reference point. In the United States, China is the pitiable other nation filled with hungry children, in China, it’s America. The form is highly stable across speakers, the only thing that varies is which country gets named, which is itself dictated by where you are sitting at dinner. It’s very interesting to me this convergent evolution from two sides of the world of deploying guilt and sympathy against stubborn children. 

“Cuando Cuelgo Los Tenis”

Age: 20
Occupation: University Student
Language: Spanish

Informant Information:

Age: 20

Date of Performance: 2/15/2025

Language: English

Nationality: American

Occupation: University Student

Primary Language: Spanish

Residence: Los Angeles, California

Text: “Cuando cuelgo los tenis”

Translation: “When I hang my shoes”

Figurative Meaning: “When I die”

Context:

Whenever the informant’s mother was upset or disappointed with the informant’s behavior, she would use the Spanish phrase “Cuando cuelgo los tenis” (“When I hang my shoes”). The phrase was used hypothetically, implying that the mother’s death could be a consequence of the child’s actions.

Analysis:

This phrase is commonly used by parents in Mexican Spanish to evoke guilt or a sense of responsibility in their children. When a parent is upset or disappointed, they may use this expression to suggest that their child’s behavior is distressing enough to contribute to their eventual passing. This type of statement reflects a universal theme in parenting, where guilt is employed as a tool to encourage compliance and reinforce family values. While the threat of death is not meant to be taken literally, it emphasizes the importance of respect, familial bonds, and the physical and emotional impact of one’s actions on their loved ones.

Dirty Rotten Devil

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Nationality: American
Age: 79
Occupation: Retired, Former Jewler
Residence: Kelseyville, California
Performance Date: May 1, 2021
Primary Language: English

Background:

My informant for this piece is my grandmother, who learned this song from her father and passed it on to her children and grandchildren. She grew up up in North Central Wisconsin and suspects that it came from one of the men’s groups, likely a fraternity, that her father was a part of there.

Context:

My grandma sings this tune quite often in times of relaxation when joking around is warranted. I specifically remember her performing it down by the water on our family vacations to Lake Kathrine, Wisconsin, during summers when I was growing up.

Main Piece:

“I’m a devil, a dirty rotten devil, put poison in my mother’s cream of wheat! I put a blotch on, the family escutcheon, and I eat *slurp noise 2x* raw meat!”

Analysis:

While this piece of lore could be looked at as great example of how dark comedy can play an important role in the relationships between an individual and their loved ones, I want to consider it through the lens of a parent who’s child is mad at them. Given that a the rhyme uses the word “escutcheon” (the spelling of which I had to Google), I think it’s unlikely that it was written by a child. With that in mind, the parent in this situation is able to satirize the childs anger at them by joking that the child wishes to poison them–while that may not be completely true, it’s possible that the parent feels there’s some truth in the statement. Nonetheless, in noting the amount of chaos that children can cause at times, this rhyme shows the wisdom of a parent accepting that fact in their ability to make light of it.

I Once Knew A Little Boy Who…

Nationality: American
Age: 20
Occupation: ROTC, student
Residence: Maryland
Performance Date: April 19, 2015
Primary Language: English

So I don’t know if this counts, but my mom when we were younger always told us these stories about a little boy she once knew whenever she didn’t want us to do something.

Like she would say things like “I once knew a little boy who lied to his parents and then he peed the bed.”

Or “I once knew a boy who snuck food from the table and didn’t finish meal and…” I don’t remember that one.

We were never allowed to go on trampolines because Mom ‘once knew a boy who jumped on a trampoline and he broke his neck and died.”

Oh and we couldn’t have keychains! Because she once knew a boy who had so many keychains on his backpack that the school bus door closed on it and he fell off and was dragged to death. Or maybe he got run over. So we weren’t allowed to have keychains on our backpack.

WHY DO YOU THINK SHE TOLD YOU ABOUT THIS BOY?

To get us from doing it, whatever she wanted us to do.

DID SHE SAY SHE ONCE KNEW A GIRL WHEN SHE TALKED TO YOUR SISTER?

Nope. It was always a little boy. I guess Samantha (his younger sister) wasn’t as threatened.

DID YOU LISTEN TO HER?

I don’t know (laughs). I know we didn’t have any keychains.

She just made up this kid, never gave a name or anything.

context of the performance:

In a one on one conversation, while we were studying together, the informant explained this family legend, which now he and his siblings find humorous.

thoughts on the performance:

It was really funny to watch how funny the informant found the examples his mom used to say about the little boy she once knew, especially the key chain one, which seems pretty arbitrary and definitely escalated quickly.  It’s also funny how, as kids, they just accepted this boy without specificity as truth, especially when he died or was injured in most of the stories.