Tag Archives: wedding

Mother Daughter wedding traditions in Hong Kong

Nationality: American
Age: 24
Occupation: Student
Residence: Los Angeles
Performance Date: April 13th, 2013
Primary Language: English
Language: Cantonese

Informant Background: The informant is originally from Hong Kong. She now lives permanently in the United States but travels back once a year to visit her relatives in Hong Kong. She speaks both Cantonese and English. Her family practices many of the Chinese traditions, folk-beliefs, and superstitions. She celebrates many of the Chinese holidays through cooking of special “holiday food.”

 

On the wedding day, before the wedding, the bride’s mother will comb the bride’s hair three times… I think the first time is so that the couple will love each other forever. Then second is so the bride can have one child per year… And third is that the bride and groom will grow old together.

The informant learned about this through her aunt and observations of the weddings she attended in Hong Kong. According to the informant this is a common Chinese wedding ritual. She said it is usually a time shared privately by mother and daughter only.

 

I think this tradition clearly reflects how wedding is more than about the bride and the groom coming together but also their relative and other people in their lives. In this case it is the ties between the mother and the daughter. This is similar to Western traditions where the mother would help the bride get ready for the ceremony in a separate room hidden from the crowd.

The bride’s mother is passing down the knowledge and wisdom. The first blessing is so that the bride and groom will have the unconditional love as her family. The second reflects how the older generation wants the next generation to keep continuing the bloodline through children. It also reflects how marriage is about celebrating reproduction through different metaphors. The third is for the bride and groom to grow old with grey hair together. I think the combing of the hair reflects this idea of beauty since women tends to grow their hair longer than men. Hair color also reflects a person’s age through color. This tradition has the element of the number three which occurs in many cultures through different rituals.

Wedding ritual is a way to always strengthen the ties between the older and younger generation, and younger generation to the next generation. This tradition then keep the mother involve before losing her daughter to the other family. The combing of the hair is also an act a mother would perform when the daughter was younger; this is a way of bringing closure before they say their goodbyes.

Tuxedo Nights

Nationality: American
Age: 58
Occupation: Hotel Owner/Manager
Residence: Nashville, TN
Performance Date: 3/20/2013
Primary Language: English

“If you want to have a wedding at night in Nashville, you have to wear a tuxedo.”

The informant was told this from his mother and father in law.  The reason that they gave him was that that’s just what you do.  The informant is from New York, and he wanted to wear a Giorgio Armani suit for the wedding.  “I didn’t want to wear a tuxedo.”  His in-laws told him that if he wanted to wear the suit that he could have the wedding on a Sunday afternoon because at night weddings, he had to wear a tuxedo.

The informant ended up getting married on Sunday night so he had to wear a tuxedo.  He told the story with a bit of resentment under his voice, and he ended saying that “it doesn’t apply anymore, but it did apparently, according to them.”

This tradition of wearing a tuxedo stuck with him because he hadn’t been allowed to do what he wanted to because of previously existing tradition.  Because he was joining a new family, he had to go along with their traditions instead of doing what he had wanted, and he still holds on to a tiny grudge for it.  The folkloric ritual held strong on this occasion.

 

Jumping the Broom

Nationality: African American

The setting is my bedroom. My informant is a close friend of mine that lives down the hall from me. This is the same informant as the Edgar Allen Poe entry.My informant is from Maryland, but grew up moving around the country.  “Jumping the broom” is a practice that comes up in African American culture. My informant says that this tradition is something that she heard from her mother, but it is also something that she has simply known about for most of her life.

I: Before African Americans could afford weddings slash their weddings were recognized by the government and they were slaves umm to constitute your marriage they would both jump over a broomstick together. “Jumping the broom” was the saying. And some people still do it for the traditional aspect of it. It is kind of passed down from generation to generation. And that’s a saying that comes up in black culture a lot because of that, jumping the broom

Rebecca: Do you know anyone that has done this?

I: My mom’s first cousin and his wife

Rebecca: Who told you about this?

I: I think my mom did but I honestly don’t remember because it comes up so much and I was around it a lot growing up

Rebecca: What does the story mean to you?
I: I think its just an interesting story and I think its cool that it has that cultural sentiment. The idea behind it is that you are “sweeping” away the old and bringing in the new, so like when people get married it is like a new beginning. Once the couple jumps over the broom, it is a transition or joining of the families.

A common theme among my collections is that my informants either heard the stories from their parents, or just assume that they did because they have always known about the story. This idea comes up a lot in African American culture according to my informant, so she hears about it a lot. My analysis of this wedding tradition relates to our class discussion. It seems to represent the liminal period between being married and single, and the broom acts like this division. Jumping over the broom together indicates that the couple is jumping out of the single life, and into their married life as a couple.

Annotation 1: Charles Dickens’ novel Great Expectations references a couple being married “over the broomstick.”

Citation: Dickens, Charles. Great Expectations. New York: Dodd, Mead, 1942.

Annotation 2: “Jumping the Broom” is also a romantic comedy released in 2011 where two African American families come together for a wedding, which ends up being multiple weddings. The film actually does involve a physical broom that one bride gives to her friend as an apology at the end of the film. Both couples jump the broom after their wedding ceremony.

Food: Ras Malai

Nationality: American-Indian(from India not Native American)
Age: 20
Occupation: Graduate Student
Residence: Los Angeles
Performance Date: March 26, 2013
Primary Language: English
Language: limited Spanish

Ras Malai- it’s dessert reserved for special occasions. The dish starts out as a mixture sweet milk with pistachios.  It is cooked with saffron and sugar. Lastly, a sweet baked cheese mixture(she couldn’t remember the name) is added to the sweet milk.

My informant states that the last time she had this dish was when her cousin got married. Whenever a couple gets married they go to the mother’s brother’s house for dinner shortly after the wedding.  This is special occasion because its supposed to welcome the couple to the family. At this dinner there are a lot of special foods served. At this dinner the informant’s mother made most of the food. However the informant’s father generally makes this dish on special occasions. The dish does not have to be made by anyone in particular. It’s a dish that’s generally saved for special occasions, especially if their related to weddings. However the dish is also served in fancy restaurants so its not purely a ceremonial dish.

This dinner reminds me of a concept we learned in class. When a person gets married they are marrying the whole family. I find it interesting that the dinner takes place at a member of the extended families house. In contrast to western society(at least in my experience) where important dinners are reserved for members of the nuclear family unless it’s a reunion or Thanksgiving.

Chinese Bridal Dowry

Nationality: Chinese
Age: 53
Occupation: Manager
Residence: Beijing, China
Performance Date: 3/23/12
Primary Language: Chinese

Informant: “I have little brother, and my mother always used to tell me that it’d be perfect if I married a Chinese man, because then he’d [his side of the family] would have to pay for the wedding. And if my little brother married an American women, she’d [her side of the family] have to pay for the dowry. So that way we’d be saving money, haha (laughs).”

Me: “Did your husband have to pay for the wedding?”

Informant: “Well, we didn’t have a wedding. (laughs.) So I guess he got off free. He didn’t have to provide Jia Zhuang for me.”

Me: “Do people still do this?”

Informant: “Well, people who are more modern won’t care. After all, most people in China wear white wedding dresses instead of red now that China’s becoming more globalized and what not. Many families share the load of the wedding fee.”

Analysis: 嫁妆, (jia zhuang) literally means “Wedding Decoration”. In the traditional sense, this could include gold jewelry, embellishments, red shoes and bedding, etc. Now, it has expanded to include modern things like appliances.

Through my research I discovered that in China, the bride’s family does pay a dowry but gives it to the bride. Instead, when asking for the bride’s hand, the groom has to give gifts to the family. These gifts, “jia zhuang”, are similar to what typical American couples register for. Bedding, curtains, simple household appliances may all be included. Some of these the family will let the bride keep. It symbolizes respect for the family. What was most important was that it proved that the groom was capable of providing a good life style for the bride.

This goes down to cultural roots and practices such as filial piety, and having respect for one’s elders. When the bride marries the groom, she essentially becomes part of the groom’s family and leaves her own family.

My informant is 53, and currently works as a manager for Dow chemicals. She was born in QingDao China and currently resides in Beijing.