Category Archives: Adulthood

Coming-of-age, courtship, marriage, weddings

California Lemon Ritual: Visiting Family On The East Coast

Nationality: American
Age: 63
Occupation: Retired
Residence: Alameda, California

Informant Information

Age: 63

Date of Performance: 2/18/2025

Language: English

Nationality: American

Occupation: Retired

Primary Language: English

Residence: Alameda, California

Text

“If you grew up in California and all your family lives on the East Coast, you grow a lemon tree. When you visit family there, you bring lemons because it’s very exotic because you can’t grow lemons on the East Coast. You put them in a bag and then pack them in your suitcase. Eventually, some family members began visiting us on the West Coast when they got older, and they’d pick their own lemons from our lemon tree. I have a lemon tree in my backyard as a present for my husband because he’s from the South, and you also can’t grow lemons there.”

Context

The informant was born and raised in California, while her extended family remained on the East Coast. Her parents were originally from the East Coast, and she made frequent visits throughout her life. As part of those visits, she carried a seemingly simple but meaningful gift — fresh California lemons. This act became ritualized within her family, rooted in the regional differences in agriculture and climate. Lemons, while technically possible to grow in parts of the East and South, are far more common and thriving in California’s mild climate. In colder or more humid regions, lemon trees are vulnerable to environmental damage and rarely flourish.

For her family, receiving these lemons symbolized a piece of California, a vibrant, fragrant token of the West Coast lifestyle. When family members later visited her in California, they cherished the opportunity to pick lemons from her tree themselves. The ritual became a two-way cultural exchange, a reflection of rootedness and connection to place. Later, she planted a lemon tree in her own backyard as a housewarming gift to her Southern-born husband, making the tree not only a familial tradition but also a personal and romantic gesture.

Analysis

This lemon-gifting ritual illustrates how everyday items can carry deep cultural and emotional meaning, especially across geographic boundaries. What begins as a practical act of bringing fresh produce to family transforms into a ritual that marks identity, nostalgia, and care. The lemon tree functions as a living symbol of California, and its fruit becomes a physical expression of home, warmth, and abundance.

The act of transporting lemons across coasts shows the significance of regional differences in agricultural production while also emphasizing how natural resources can become symbolic commodities in family relationships. The ritual communicates more than just gift-giving. It speaks to the longing for home, the pride in one’s origin, and the desire to share that with loved ones who live far away. Furthermore, the informant’s continuation of the tradition by planting her own tree and offering it as a gift to her husband reflects how rituals evolve to include new meanings. The lemon tree is now both a bridge to her past and a symbol of unity in her marriage, showing how folklore adapts to new contexts while preserving its emotional roots.

Folk Narrative: Folktale – The Mothers Heart

  1. Text: There is a Greek folk tale that centers around and explores the often contrived dynamic between a man, his wife and his mother. This three person dynamic, often subject to satire, melodrama or perhaps just general tension in everyday life, is metabolized and explored dramatically in the tale known as The Mother’s Heart, (Η Καρδιά της Μάνας). The tale is simple. It follows the story of a man who is living simultaneously with his mother and his wife. The man splits his time and attention between the two women, often to the dismay of the wife. The wife is infuriated that she must split her husband between herself and her mother-in-law. Finally enraged to the point of no return, the wife gives her husband an ultimatum. The wife not only demands that the man pick between herself and his mother, but she demands that in order to prove his love, the man must go to a new extreme; he must rip his mothers heart out, and deliver it to his wife. Now this man is wrought with love and manipulation – so he agrees to his wife’s terms. He kills his mother, steals her heart and puts it in a chest. With the heart in hand, the man journeys back to his wife. Along the way, he stumbles, falling over and dropping the box. The heart rolls out of the chest. To his complete shock, the heart speaks softly and says to him, “Είσαι καλά, παιδί μου?” – “Are you okay, my child?” This moment shatters the son, injecting him with a deep dread.
  2. Informants Context: Greeks mothers are extremely hands-on, they just want to try and stay as close as possible to their children. If anything, its one of the most famous stereotypes that follows so many Greek people around. They really struggle to let go of their children. I never wanted to be like that with my sons because I was cognizant of that issue in our culture. This stereotype surrounding Greek parents is especially true as it applies to Greek mothers and their sons though. It really is. So as a kid, my mother would tell me this story all the time. She was an immigrant from Greece, raised in the villages, so she was very old school. Very traditional, believed in keeping the family close and all that. She learned this story from her time in the villages, from where I couldn’t say, but it was known amongst her community. There were a lot of Greek immigrant families where I grew up in Canada, and my friends who also had immigrant mothers would sometimes tell them the same story. Whenever I did anything to make my mother unhappy, maybe disrespected her or spoke out of line, usually she would yell and scare the hell out of me. Sometimes though she would just sit me down and tell me this story, really guilting me. As soon as I got married she never told me the story again though (laughs). I think the story reflects a lot of the dynamics that are common in Greek culture, for better or for worse. The mother-son relationship is extremely valued in Greek culture. This story, hearing it as a child, inevitably brought me closer to my mother when I was young. Of course, a part of her was trying to guilt trip me into love. I know that. But I still believe the moral at the center of the story is authentic and beautiful. A mothers love for her son knows no bounds, even when he hurts her. It’s very touching.
  3. Collectors Interpretation: I believe the story of the Mothers Heart is a folk tale that indeed stems from stereotypes or even true cultural qualities about the close-knit relationship between Greek mothers and their sons. It reflects a deeper and broader code of familial loyalty that characterizes all Greek families – loving one another unconditionally, despite how often we hurt each other. Greeks, being known as soulful and emotional people, often say or do crazy things in the name of passion, as the son does for his wife. Despite this, or perhaps because these are acts of passion/love, Greeks often find it in themselves to love the family member who hurt them. More specifically, it is clearly a story about the purity, the unconditional quality of maternal love. The simplicity of the story and the extent to which it is clear is partly what makes it such a robust folk tale. While clearly supernatural and not to be interpreted as historical (also not sacred), the story feels like it exists for pedagogy. It has a clear, concise message while not needing to be true.

Fields

AGE: 55

Date_of_performance: April 15, 2025/May 9, 2025

Informant Name: (Confidential)

Language: English/Greek

Nationality: Canadian/Greek

Occupation: Lawyer/Entrepreneur

Primary Language: English

Residence: Canada

Halloween Costumes

Nationality: United States
Age: 18
Occupation: Student
Residence: Los Angeles, CA
Language: English

Text: “Ever since I was little, I have always dressed up for halloween. When I was a little kid, it was always something fun like Rapunzel or Dorothy. As I have gotten older, I have put more effort into more creative and funny costumes, often matching with my friends. Even now I still dress up, just this last Halloween my friends and I all dressed up as the Powerpuff Girls. Even though I’m not trick-or-treating and often going out with friends, I always have to be in costume for Halloween.”

Context: This ritual was shared by the informant, N, during a conversation about holiday traditions that continue into adulthood. N explained that regardless of her age she will always continue wearing a costume for Halloween. While wearing a costume may seem rather simple, it helps set Halloween apart from a regular day. N also noted that the process of planning a costume often involves friends, adding a social element to the tradition. To N, this ritual is less about trick or treating and more about the feeling of celebration and self expression.

Analysis: This is an example of a calendar-based ritual tied to seasonal celebration and self-expression. In the U.S., dressing up for Halloween is quite common and allows individuals to express their identity through costume. For children, it often represents imagination and fantasy, while for teens and adults it becomes more of a creative and social outlet. The continuation of this ritual into adulthood shows how folk traditions can evolve with age. As N grew, she didn’t abandon this ritual but instead adapted it to fit her changing identity.

Filipino Wedding Cord

Age: 35
Occupation: Nurse
Residence: Yorba Linda, CA
Language: English

Text

“When I got married, I included the Filipino wedding cord ritual. Not everyone at the wedding had heard of it, so I made sure we included a note in the program and had the officiant explain it too. It’s one of the traditional wedding customs in Filipino Catholic ceremonies, along with the veil and coins rituals.

The cord, or yugal, is typically a large decorative loop; it is usually made of silk or a rosary and shaped into a figure eight. This shape symbolizes infinity, endless love, and commitment. During the ceremony, two people called cord sponsors, who are usually a married couple chosen by the bride and groom, to drape the cord over the couple’s shoulders. 

One loop goes around the groom and the other around the bride. Then it rests gently across both of us, physically connecting us.

This is done after the vows and rings. It’s used to represent unity and the idea from that moment forward, we’re bound together not just legally or emotionally but also spiritually and communally too. 

In traditional Filipino culture, marriage isn’t just about the two people. It is also about the families, community, and even the ancestors who came before. The yugal is a visual symbol of that commitment. It says: we’re in this together, and we’re surrounded by support.”

Context

This narrative was shared by a Filipino American woman based in Southern California who recently got married and chose to include the yugal (wedding cord) ritual as a part of he wedding ceremony. The informant is second-generation, with her parents who immigrated from the Philippines. She explains that while she grew up seeing photos and hearing about traditional Filipino Catholic wedding customs, this was her first time directly participating in the ritual. She saw it as a meaningful way to connect with her cultural heritage and to educate non-Filipino guests attending her wedding.

She chose to have the officiant explain the ritual aloud during the ceremony and also included a brief description in the wedding program, since many guests were unfamiliar with Filipino customs. Her interpretation of the ritual highlights the spiritual, communal, and intergenerational dimensions of Filipino marriage traditions. To her, the yugal represents more than a decorative act. It visually affirms the idea that marriage is a bond supported by family, faith, and history.

My interpretation

The Filipino wedding cord ritual, also known as the yugal, is a traditional practice commonly performed during Filipino Catholic weddings. It is one of three primary unity rituals, alongside the veil and coin ceremonies, that serve as material and symbolic expressions of marriage as a sacred, communal, and culturally grounded institution. 

The yugal ritual is best understood as a life-cycle ritual and a form of performative tradition. It marks a moment of transition in the couple’s identity, not only as individuals becoming legally married, but as members of a broader cultural and familial system. Rituals like these are symbolically special acts that represent continuity with the past while actively shaping present social identity. In this way, the wedding cord ritual is not just decorative since it functions as a symbolic performance of cultural values, particularly those around unity, family, commitment, and faith.

The yugal also demonstrates the vernacular dimensions of religion. While it is part of Catholic wedding ceremonies, it is not a universal church practice and is instead deeply embedded in Filipino cultural contexts. It shows how religious expression can be shaped by folk practices passed down through community knowledge, rather than dictated by official religious institutions. This aligns with folklorist definitions of vernacular religion, which is a lived religious experience expressed through tradition, objects, and ritual enacted by ordinary people.

The cord ritual is also an example of intangible cultural heritage (ICH,) which is a form of tradition that is not a fixed artifact but a recurring, dynamic practice. Its meaning is carried through action, symbolism, and intergenerational participation rather than text or formal canon. However, as it becomes more frequently included in diasporic weddings (in this case, a Filipino American wedding), it also raises questions about heritage vs folklore. When the ritual is scripted into programs or explained to unfamiliar audiences, it edges closer to heritagization.

Debut (18th Birthday)

Nationality: Filipino American
Age: 23
Occupation: Student
Residence: Cerritos, CA

Text 

“When I turned 18, I had a debut. It is basically a Filipino coming-of-age celebration. It’s like a quinceañera but at 18. For Filipinos, it’s a big deal. Turning 18 means you’re entering adulthood, so you’re presented to your family and community with all the grace and glamor of a princess. 

The most memorable part of my debut was the 18 roses and 18 candles.

The 18 Roses are dances. 18 men, usually dads, cousins, and guy friends, each danced with me one by one. They handed me a rose and sometimes say a short message. It can get pretty emotional.

The 18 Candles are when 18 girls or women light a candle and give a short speech about me. Some speeches were funny, and others were mini love letters from my closest friends. It was a way of seeing myself through the eyes of people who had known me my whole life, and it really stuck with me. 

I didn’t grow up in the Philippines, but doing the debut made me feel connected to that part of me.”

Context 

The informant is a second-generation daughter who celebrated her debut at age 18 with a full program including traditional elements like 18 Roses and 18 Candles. She emphasized that while she was raised in the United States, the debut helped her feel connected to her Filipino heritage. 

My interpretation 

The debut functions as a coming-of-age rite that is both performative and symbolic. In folkloristic terms, it marks a liminal moment, a passage from girlhood into adult social identity that is celebrated through structured ritual acts. 

The debut reinforces intergenerational values, especially within diasporic settings where tradition must be actively chosen and adapted. The event also serves as a space of collective storytelling as speeches and dances become public affirmations of the debutante’s identity, relationships, and future. Through these performances, the community participates in shaping the celebrant’s transition, offering both affirmation and expectation.