Category Archives: Old age

Retirement, seniority, death, funerals, remembrances

お父さん and お母さん — Japanese Folk Speech

Nationality: Japanese
Age: 21
Occupation: Student
Residence: Naha-shi, Okinawa, Japan
Performance Date: 3/27/12
Primary Language: Japanese

In Japan, married couples who have children often begin to call each other 「お父さん」(otousan) and 「お母さん」(okaasan) which translates to “father” and “mother.” The apparent strangeness of this phenomenon is illuminated only when one tries to apply it to American society, where parents generally still call each other by their names or pet-names. An American mother, for instance, although she may say to her child something like, “Look, your father is over there!” would never, when speaking alone with her husband, call him “father,” just as her husband would never refer to his wife as “mother.”

My informant, who has spent her entire life in the city of Naha-shi in Okinawa, Japan, was extremely surprised when I told her of the apparent strangeness of this folk speech. Her mother has always called her husband (and my informant’s father) “father,” and her father has always called his wife “mother.” It was always perfectly natural for my informant and for everybody else in Japanese society to hear parents talking to each other as if they were each other’s children. Though they refer to each other by their names occasionally, they very rarely stray from this folk speech, which seems to characterize the relationships between most parents in Japanese society.

Though Japan has a very low divorce rate, research has shown it to have one of the highest percentages of unhappily married couples in the world. This percentage, though partly a result of women lacking the economic independence to free themselves from an unhappy marriage, also arises from the prominence of children in Japanese married life. According to my informant, many a Japanese couple, after they have children, shift towards investing their entire life and love towards their children, becoming not man and woman but “father” and “mother,” defining themselves solely by their positions as their children’s caretakers.

When my informant came on an extended visit to America, she was perplexed to see, on some American TV show, an episode when the parents leave their kids with a baby-sitter and go off on a night of their own. The concept of a baby-sitter barely even exists in Japan, where usually women serve as housewives and are always home, and where the possibility of leaving the children behind to go on a date as man and woman feels like some kind of betrayal of the family system. 「結婚したらロマンスなくなるよね〜」was what my informant’s mother had said, which, roughly translated, means You can’t expect the romance to keep going after you get married and have kids.

That parents have–always, it seems–called each other 「お父さん」 and 「お母さん」referring to themselves only as “father” and “mother” in relation to their children, seems understandable then, in the context of Japanese society. Perhaps this folk speech derives itself from the very culture and sensibilities of the Japanese people. In Japan, perhaps, nurturing children and creating a cohesive family with clearly defined roles is seen as more important and easier, perhaps, than a passionate love between parents, hence the reason why so many people disregard their names (and subsequently, perhaps even their individual identities) to adopt the generic roles of mother, and of father.

 

 

親父ギャグ — Purposely Lame Japanese Jokes

Nationality: Japanese
Age: 21
Occupation: Student
Residence: Naha, Okinawa, Japan
Performance Date: 4/2/12
Primary Language: Japanese

親父 (oyaji) in Japanese is a somewhat derogatory word for middle-aged men (for instance, my informant said that the word 親父 reminds her of a half-drunken forty-ish man sprawled on the couch in a sweaty wife-beater, watching a baseball game). ギャグ (gagu) is derived from the English word gag, and literally just means joke. Translated literally then, 「親父ギャグ」 is “middle-aged man jokes,” which is not far from its contextualized definition.

親父ギャグ aren’t just meant for middle-aged men, however. In short, an 親父ギャグ is simply any extremely lame joke, usually some form of pun or wordplay. There is a stereotype (or a blaison populaire of sorts) in Japan that dictates that middle-aged men are the ones that most often tell these jokes, because they do not care whether other people find it funny, as long as they themselves think that the joke is funny. Indeed, my informant’s father is an 親父ギャグ man, and when he tells one of these jokes, he finds his joke funny, but also finds it funny that none of his audience thought it was funny– in fact, he almost takes pleasure in their raised eyebrows and the shaking of their heads as they say, tiredly but affectionately, “Oh, there he goes again.”

My informant grew up in the city of Naha in Okinawa, Japan, and had 親父ギャグ engrained in her life from a young age by her own father. 親父ギャグ are most times made purposely lame–it seems as if it is a way, almost, of lowering oneself on purpose, so that other people are encouraged to be more themselves as well, a sort of ice-breaker. Look, the performance of it says, there’s no judgment here! Oftentimes 親父ギャグ can liven up a gathering or conversation in that way; it is extremely difficult not to smile or laugh at someone who is laughing hysterically at their own lame joke. When telling an 親父ギャグ, the subliminal aim is not to make everyone laugh at the joke–the point is to have everyone laugh at you laughing at your own joke, making yourself seem more accessible to everyone around you. In that sense, it is often a great act of bravery to tell an 親父ギャグ (unless, of course, you think it’s actually funny, and are embarrassed when nobody laughs at the joke itself). Both parties need to accept that the joke is lame, and laugh about it.

Some examples of 親父ギャグ from my informant’s father, which may or may not retain their humor through the translation (not that there was much humor in them to begin with):

A: “How do you say sidewalk in Japanese?”
B: 歩道？ (pronounced hodou, sidewalk, in Japanese.)
C: なるほどう！ (pronounced naruhodou, means I SEE! in Japanese)

Get it? Or this:

こんにゃく、今夜食う
konnyaku, konnyakuu
I’ll eat konnyaku tonight.
(This is funny, or supposed to be funny, because the food is konnyaku, and “I’m gonna eat tonight” casually is “konya (tonight) kuu (eat)” so they sound almost exactly the same.)

These are the kind of jokes that would get glazed-over expressions, silence, and low “ohhhhhhh my goodness…….” kinds of reactions if told in America. The difference is, that these jokes’ significance rest in their very lameness.

In Japan, a society governed by relatively strict social hierarchies and characterized by an almost extreme amount of politeness, these lame jokes are a way to let off some steam, and temporarily cast off any forms of judgment. 親父ギャグ are relaxing, in a way, because they do not require much effort from either party–the performer is not really trying to be funny, and all the audience needs to do is roll their eyes a bit, and smile.

ANNOTATION: In Japan, there is a popular children’s book series called 「かいけつゾロリ」(Kaiketsu Zorori), published by Poplar Publishing. The original books were also made into a feature-length film, a comic, and an anime. In this series, the fox protagonist of the story (and a wanted criminal) keeps traveling around the world with the goal of becoming the “King of Pranks.” This fox protagonist, Zorori, is the owner of the ぶっくらこいた (Bukkura Koita), a book that tells 親父ギャグ (oyaji gyagu) so bad that they physically freeze all those who hear it. In the series, he often uses this books to freeze or confuse his pursuers and opponents in order to make a quick get-away. That 親父ギャグ are used in a children’s series to add humor, then, illustrates the way 親父ギャグ are often viewed in Japanese society–something to make fun of, a distraction of sorts, but something people enjoy and find humorous all the same.

<Hara, Yutaka. Kaiketsu Zorori No Doragon Taiji. Kaiketsu Zorori. Tokyo: Poplar Publishing, 1995.>

<原, ゆたか. かいけつゾロリのドラゴンたいじ. かいけつゾロリ. Tokyo: Poplar Publising, 1995.>

 

 

 

 

 

 

Korean Superstition – The Ill at Funerals

Nationality: Korean
Age: 51
Occupation: Nurse
Residence: Cerritos, California
Performance Date: April 2007
Primary Language: Korean
Language: English

“The physically ill in Korea do not attend funerals in fear that death will find them.”

 

My informant first heard about this superstition when about a decade ago, she was puzzled by her mother-in-law’s unwillingness to attend her (as in the mother-in-law’s) brother’s funeral.  When Gwi questioned her opposition to attending, her mother-in-law who is from the rural city of Daegu in Korea, explained that she was already ill.  Spirits at the funeral could sense an ill person’s presence and would follow her home.  She was afraid of the spirits following her after the funeral to take her with them, so she avoided going.  This kind of superstition is wide spread among the country folks in Korea.  They would never attend a funeral no matter how beloved the deceased was to them if they are ill because they believed the spirits would mark them as the next to die.

If I were battling a fatal disease, I would feel too vulnerable to go to such a gloomy and morbid ceremony.  Not necessarily that I believe spirits would follow me home, but I would be afraid to watch a funeral because death would just seem so real and closer to me.  However, I would still find the courage to attend a beloved’s funeral because perhaps I may find consolation in that death does not have to be so scary and remote as many people make it out to be.

State Trooper

Nationality: Hispanic; Mexican; American
Age: 70
Occupation: Cosmetologist
Residence: Three Rivers, CA, USA
Performance Date: March 24, 2011
Primary Language: English
Language: Spanish

The following is the performance of a joke from my grandmother: “I heard this joke from one of my clients…it’s a good one. So, an old man decided that life was passing him by. He had been successful during his life and made a lot of money, and decided it was time to spend it. So, one day, he went to a Porsche dealership and bought the fastest car they had. He immediately took it for a cruise. It was like magic…the car was smooth, fast, and he began to accelerate on the flat, straight, open road….75 mph…85 mph…95 mph…and just as he was peaking 100, he flew past a State Trooper that flashed his lights and gave chase. The man thought he could outrun the Trooper, and sped up, giving himself the thrill of his lifetime…105, 110, 115. The Trooper wasn’t stopping the chase, and the man thought he better stop, so he pulled over as fast as he could and waited anxiously for the uh, the uh Trooper to walk up to the window. So, the Trooper walks up, takes a look at the outside of the car, then the old man inside. ‘OK, I’ll tell you what I’m gonna do,’ he says. He says, ‘I can see what’s going on here…it’s late, no one was on the road, and I was just getting off my shift…so I’m gonna make a deal with you. Give me one good reason why you were speeding up, and I’ll let you go with a warning.’ The old man thought for a couple minutes, and after a few seconds said, ‘well, officer, see my wife ran away with a Trooper thirty years ago, and I thought you were bringing her back.’ The old man was let go.”

My grandmother felt this was comical because of the punch line, when the old man essentially puts down his wife by implying that he would drive 115 mph to get away from her. While this is comical, I would expand on this to reveal the overall societal implications of what that signifies. It shows the classic example of the male seeking independence, free from the constraints of a women or even the law. Thus, it is not only a negotiation and signification of identity between men and women, but also between the man and social structure (the law enforcement). This gap between the every man and structure is deconstructed by the mutuality expressed via the man’s wife, who he wittingly says eloped with a law enforcement officer. In this way, the authority is questioned (after all, what respectful officer would take someone’s wife?), yet simultaneously is given a light side by showing compassion and understanding for the aging man. On this note, the idea of age is also expressed, and its ability to long for the adventurous and youthful individual within. There is then much beneath the surface of this humorous joke.

Elderly Person-Joke

Nationality: African American
Age: 14
Occupation: High School Student
Residence: Fresno, CA
Performance Date: April 23, 2011
Primary Language: English

There was an elderly married couple. The husband had been having trouble with his memory lately so his wife took him to the doctor. The doctor told him that maybe he should start writing stuff down so that he could remember things. Then the couple went home. While at home the wife asked her husband, “Dear would you get me some strawberry ice cream with whip cream from the kitchen?” So her husband gets up to go get it, but before he can leave his wife asks, ” Are you sure you don’t need me to write it down so that you can remember everything?” And he says, “I don’t need you to write anything down, I can remember something small like this”. So goes into the kitchen and he is gone for a really long time. When he comes back he brings a plate with bacon, eggs, and toast on it. His wife stares at the plate and says, “See?! I told you write it down. I knew you would forget. I said that I wanted sausage not bacon”

My informant first heard this joke from a friend at school. He thought it was funny because not only did the old man forget what he was doing, his wife also forgot what she had said. He thinks people tell it because it’s a stereotype associated with the elderly that they often forget things.

I agree with my informant. Forgetfulness is a stereotype associated with the elderly in American culture, as well being frail, tired, and that they are always complaining, as well as being stubborn and stuck in their ways. The punchline of this joke makes use of the forgetfulness aspect of the stereotype. But why do Americans like to tell and listen to old people jokes? American culture seems to have grown some disdain toward the elderly. Older people are often seen as a drain and a burden to their children and grandchildren who take care of them. They are often characterized as chronically ill and useless as family members. Which might have something to do with America being a future oriented culture according to Alan Dundes (Dundes, 1969). The elderly aren’t considered to have a future. So it has become socially acceptable to make jokes about the elderly and their stereotypical shortcomings.