Tag Archives: tradition

Broken Ceramic, Broken Hearts

Nationality: Singaporean
Age: 56
Occupation: Homemaker
Residence: Singapore
Performance Date: 04/12/2021
Primary Language: English

Context

This was an incident that occurred during my cousin’s wedding that caused quite a bit of argument within the family. ‘Jie’ refers to my older sister. The interview is with my mother as I get her to recount the incident.

———————————————————————————————

Performance

The following is transcribed from a conversation between me, (M), and my mother, the interviewee (I).

M: Do you remember the time you got really upset at jie about the gift she tried to give Dixie?

I: Yes that was really bad.

M: Can you tell me about the gift and why you were so upset?

I: She tried to give Dixie a pair of ceramic cups that she had made as a wedding gift. But! One of the cups had a crack in it. I told her to either remake it or don’t give it at all. Because it’s bad luck in Chinese tradition to give something that is broken on her wedding. And you know Dixie, she is superstitious, and you cannot do that during a wedding.

M: What ended up happening to the gift?

I: Your jie still insisted on giving it so I had to hide it during the wedding itself and not give it to Dixie. You cannot do things like that, especially at a Wedding.

———————————————————————————————

Analysis

I remember very clearly this being a huge moment of contention between my mother and sister. My sister had put in days of work in order to create something homemade and special for our favorite cousin on her wedding day, and my mother seeing the broken ceramic cup and refusing to let my sister gift it on the wedding day. I think this shows how superstition across generations can change and how it can create moments of tension. While my sister was not a superstitious person, my mother was and she knew that my cousin was as well and thus could not allow such a gift to be given. It was also a reflection of the family and my mother felt that it would’ve reflected badly on her if she had allowed such a gift to be giving by her own daughter. The superstition comes from Chinese beliefs where everything must be seen as auspicious. From the color red that must be present everywhere on the wedding day, to the multitudes of rituals of tea pouring that must be done in the correct order.

Fortune Telling From a Cup of Turkish Coffee

Nationality: Turkish
Age: 24
Occupation: Graduate Student in Computer Science at USC
Residence: 2715 Portland St Los Angeles CA 90007
Performance Date: 4/17/21
Primary Language: English
Language: Turkish

When my friend first read my fortune out of a cooled cup of Turkish coffee, I was told that he saw angels, tigers and trails in my future. He’d been using a Wikipedia article to help him read our fortunes, but he seemed excite to be sharing this experience with me and my other friend, who had never had our fortunes read in this way before.

Turkish coffee is very dense. It’s more like espresso than coffee, and because of this one only consumes a shot-glass or specialized tiny coffee mug. The person drinking Turkish coffee leaves a small layer of coffee grounds in the bottom of the cup and turns the cup over on a saucer to cool. The grounds may slide down the sides of the cup as they cool and solidify, which the reader then uses to tell the drinker’s fortune.

*

“This is very embedded in the Turkish culture. So it’s not something that you learn somewhere else, it’s around you all the time. You know, you grow up with your mom, your grandma, you know, the aunts and the ladies on the balconies, everyone does it. ” The speaker said as we sat in the Nuka Turkish Cafe in Westwood months after that initial reading in our home. He mentioned that shapes in a coffee mug might look like numbers or scenery.

“There are places in Turkey where you would go to visit like an actual medium. Well, those are self-proclaimed mediums. But the interesting thing is, I’ve been to certain mediums that would have incredibly accurate fortunetelling. Like, they will give you a lot of information about your past and your future. And very often, I’ve met people and I have had friends who have these professional medium fortune telling them, like their fortune telling actually becomes true in the future. And so it’s an interesting thing. And I really don’t know that side of it that well. It’s very supernatural. And I just feel like some people actually do have that supernatural talent to be able to use this. “

The speaker added that Turkish mediums also use tarot and palmistry to tell fortunes, and that this tradition is quite old. “The Turkish army that my father is, is a part of has an insignia on it that says before Christ, 200 something. It’s a 2200 years old army.” He added that before Christianity, many Turkish tribes practiced paganism. “

“We have a Turkish idiom that says, “Don’t believe in this fortune telling. But like, don’t live without it… it’s an integral and cultural part of our lives. But we also live in a society where, you know, we are aware that fortune telling is not a very scientific method… So it’s, it’s more of a fun sport at this point than actual people believing in it. It’s more it’s more fun than it’s taken like serious.”

*

The speaker was happy that we had come to visit him in the Nuka Cafe, and he pretended to be annoyed that I was recording his thoughts about fortune telling. When I asked him where he first saw fortune telling, he mentioned that much like a baby doesn’t remember their first steps, he doesn’t remember where he first encountered this tradition. Another friend mentioned that the speaker’s past fortune came true, and later that day he read another cup of Turkish coffee. He told our third friend that he saw a world map and a wedding.

This is important to me because much like the speaker, I enjoy fortune-telling tools but don’t really believe in them… unless something else changes my mind about their accuracy. I first came across the idea of fortune-telling from tea or coffee in the movie Coraline, and I showed the speaker the section of the film that includes fortune-telling after we had done the first reading in the house. I enjoyed having my fortune read and will not believe it while simultaneously “keeping it in mind.”

This seems to be a largely female craft. The speaker is interested in Turkish folklore and could not remember the meanings of symbols he described to us the first time he performed this tradition using Wikipedia notes.

A slap for menstruation

Nationality: United States
Age: 19
Occupation: Student
Residence: Exeter, NH
Performance Date: 04/19/2021
Primary Language: English

BACKGROUND: My informant, PP, is a student from the US. Her mom is Jewish American while her father is an immigrant from Spain. This piece is something that she learned from her mom’s side, something found in Jewish culture.  

CONTEXT: This piece is from a conversation with my friend to discuss a tradition in Jewish culture.

PP: There’s this thing in Jewish culture that my mom told me about when I first got my period that the mother has to lightly slap the daughters face on the day she first gets it and I was so distraught about getting it as a little 11-year old that I was just crying in the car and my mom felt terrible but she was like I’m so sorry but I have to do this and just lightly hit my cheek. I don’t know where this comes from but yeah I guess it’s a thing.

THOUGHTS: I think in many cultures a girl’s first period is seen as a marker of her ascent into womanhood. That being said, I also wonder why during an occasion while a girl is already feeling pain, it would be customary to inflict more pain. That thought soon reminded me of the Western tradition of slapping a baby on the butt as soon as it’s born. Perhaps a slap marks a prominent shift in one’s life. While the pain only lasts a brief moment, both individuals are soon welcomed into a new community.

“La Noche Buena” December 24th traditions in Cuba

Nationality: Cuban
Age: 84
Occupation: Social Worker
Residence: LA
Performance Date: May 2, 2021
Primary Language: Spanish
Language: english

Context:

My informant is an 84 year-old woman of Spanish / Cuban ethnicity. She grew up in Havana, Cuba and lived there until she had to leave due to the communist regime at the age of 22. This story was told as an explanation of what they used to do in Cuba the night of December 24th. She enjoys this tradition because it reminds her of young days in Cuba when things were good.

Transcription:

Informant: 

“The Christmas tradition… uh La Noche Buena (The Good Night) took place on the 24th in Cuba, the day before American Christmas. What happens is um ah its a family event where everyone is involved in the process of preparing a whole pig to eat. First the men in the family traditionally kill and clean the pig, and all family members are included in different parts of this process. Grandmothers are usually in the kitchen preparing spices and all sorts of dressings and other simple dishes, usually served with rice and beans and uh… plantains. The second part is a man’s tradition of roasting the pig in an outdoor area. While this happens towards the end, ah the women decide who is gonna sit where, where are the things going at the table, who is gonna serve, who is gonna carve. In this tradition women have 100% control of all of the things that occur ~ even after the meal, men will have zero involvement. A variety of desserts are fixed from Spain directly, usually you bought at someplace that the desserts were created in Spain. You know, now the food items are not there, you cannot find a pig, things from Spain, you cannot find beans, most people are hungry and hoping to find any food. Also, Santa Clause does not exist in Cuba, we have the 3 kings.”

Thoughts:

I thought it was really interesting to hear how this story reflected the times of the early days when my grandmother was still in Cuba. It seems as though women and men both had very distinct roles in this process and were extremely diligent in following these confines. Animal rights were also another interesting perspective from an American point of view. In the US, today it might seem inhumane for every household to slaughter a pig on Christmas. However, in a lot of other places, it is still totally normal to slaughter your own meat for a meal and can even be thought of as showing more respect for the animal, depending on how it is carried out of course. 

Cuban culture does put an emphasis on family events and the bonding and delegation of roles within a family. It is some of these ideas that help to keep the culture strong with lasting ideas and beliefs. Today my family still roasts a whole pig in my grandma’s backyard on Christmas. It is a huge tradition, we definitely are not as rigid and do not slaughter the pig ourselves, but it does feel like the Cuban heritage is still coming through in its own way.

Elders Eat First

Nationality: Indian
Age: 70
Residence: India
Performance Date: 3/23/2021
Primary Language: Hindi (urdu)

Context and Background:

Food is a big part of Indian culture and here, my informant is almost like my grandmother and my late grandfather’s family friend. She tells me a belief about food in India. 

Performance: (via phone call)

There is a belief that whenever we are making food for the family, the first bite is always eaten by the elder of the family. Elder meaning, the oldest child of the family. In a family of mom, dad, and two children, this means, either the elder child can eat it because they are the oldest sibling, or the mom and dad can eat if they were the older sibling in their family. It excludes the younger sibling for eating the first bite. The reason behind this is because we believe that if the elder eats the first bite, there will be plenty of food for the entire family. But if the younger child eats first, there will be a shortage of food. 

Analysis:

After recording this conversation, my and my friend also had a conversation about her childhood. She told me she had 11 siblings and most families in her village were quite big. At the time she was born, in the 1950s, it was common to have a lot of children because there weren’t many birth control options. These villages could also be poor, so food on the table was something they had to worry about. This folk belief is a natural consequence of their circumstances, they had to make sure there was enough food on the table for everyone. If believing that the older child ate first gave them some peace of heart and so they adopted and spread this folk belief. Even in the 2020’s, my mom always makes me eat first bite because of this belief.