Category Archives: Life cycle

40 Days After Death

“We do it because [the soul of someone has passed away recently] wanders around for 40 days before they settle on where they want to go. That’s why we pray to help them find their way to Heaven to because they don’t know where they are.” 

As a Filipino-Catholic, my family has many rituals that we perform at different life events. One of the most recent ones that my family has performed is the “40 days after death” prayer ritual we perform after a family member has passed away. For the first 9 days after the person has passed, my family comes together to pray the rosary together and recite the Novena for the Dead. After that, it’s usually the older relatives and those closest to the recently deceased who continue to pray the rosary daily, leading up to the final day when everyone comes together again to repeat the ritual one last time. 

The contents of this ritual are very heavy and the environment is usually quite solemn when this happens. However, when talking to my mom about it, she then started talking about how my whole family only comes together for weddings and funerals. These types of life events provide enough of a reason for people to reshuffle their busy schedules to come out and partake in the event. She then proceeded to talk about the fun memories with cousins that she doesn’t really hang out with and the dinners that occur after the prayer is done. It made me think about my own memories with this prayer, and how I also have had fond memories with my cousins and relatives that I didn’t meet until that time. Ironically, thinking back to these heavily sad periods of time where my family had lost someone, my mom and I first remember the memories of our family coming together for this person and to take part in this ritual. This 40 day of death ritual is ironically something that brings me a bit of happiness and community in a dark time, and I love my family for keeping that tradition alive for I believe that this familial togetherness is something that we value strongly. 

Always shave your hair so it grows faster?

AGE

51

Date of performance

4/30/25

Language

English

Nationality

American

Occupation

Business Owner

Primary Language

Arabic

Residence

San Diego, CA

Ritual: Shaving a baby’s head once they grow hair so it can grow back faster and healthier

Context + Text: The individual is my father and has told me the story of when I first started to grow hair, they immediately cut it all off because they believed it would grow back faster and healthier. “You know, it seems a little odd, but hair rituals have been a part of my culture for so long, some parents combine this with letting their kids grow unibrows because they believe it’s bad luck to cut that”. He explained further that while it may not have ever proven to work, as much of his family including himself are all bald men, he said that it’s been such a long tradition there’s no way they stop it now. According to him, the ritual went as far back as his grandfather, and he tells me that it is something I have to do when I have kids. The ritual does not only apply to men, as even the baby girls are shaven bald so that their hair can be healthier. He believes it is a little funny that it only works on the women, as they always grow long healthy hair while the men are going bald by 30. 

Analysis: The idea of shaving hair so that it can grow back faster and thicker has been adopted and transformed in so many different ways. Growing up, I had always learned that if you shave your beard with a razor, it will lead to thicker and quicker hair growth. Some of my friends took it as far as to shave even when they had no beard, so they could ‘cut their skin’ and promote hair growth. There are no scientific reasons for any of these rituals, but if we can convince ourselves that it does work, then we will believe that it works. A large part in the belief for these hair rituals is especially due to the lack of science that was around for this individual when he was in Iraq. There was never anything to disprove the idea that a bald baby would have the best hair, so the ritual was continued for generations as no one wanted to be considered an outcast. While I may not believe that this ritual plays a true role in hair growth, I may fall into still participating in this with my future children simply due to the fear of breaking the chain. 

Death Anniversaries

AGE

45

Date of performance

4/30/25

Language

English

Nationality

American

Occupation

Teacher’s Aid

Primary Language

Arabic

Residence

San Diego, CA

Ritual: Funerals, 40 days post death, and the 1-year anniversary

Context + Text: The individual is my mother, and she in an American immigrant from Iraq. I have learned many rituals following the death of people form my community, but the most interesting one’s stem from my mom. According to her, when an individual has passed away, if you are close to them, you are not allowed to leave the house for “happy” things for 40 days. Also, during those days, you should be wearing all black every day. “It’s for sure an interesting ritual we all follow, and it’s even different if you are super close to the individual, as the time period rises to one year instead of just 40 days”. On the 40th day since the death, the same individuals who were there for the funeral gather again to remember them, having a second funeral essentially. For family members, there is then another remembrance on the 1-year anniversary. (It is important to note that one year equals 11 months in this culture for historic reasons). “So, for me my father-in-law had passed away, and I did not attend any celebrations for one year and only wore black, I had to buy so many new clothes”, she continued. While it may be a little over the top, she believes that the new generation will slowly let these rituals die out as they are too much.

Analysis: The revering of the dead has been a tradition for centuries, stemming back to ancient civilizations, especially in the middle east. The individual and her family come from a long line of Iraqis who have held onto these ancient traditions revolving around the dead. Various religions and cultures have adopted similar rituals, as they believe that the one-year anniversary marks a significant period of time to mourn the individual. However, the rituals have subjective ‘guidelines’ as in who must participate in the one-year mourning. This creates all sorts of issues within small communities as they believe that some individuals should be mourning longer or not mourning at all, judging their closeness to the dead person. If an individual is seen celebrating or partying a little too early following the individual’s death, it can be considered disrespect by the family members, and has led to divisions between families and friends.  

Judaism Round Foods

Age – 20
Language – English
Nationality – American
Occupation – Student
Primary Language – English
Residence – Long Island, New York

Text: “In the Jewish religion, we use round foods to symbolize the cyclical process of life and renewal at lifecycle celebrations and events. Some examples include hard-boiled eggs or round challah bread. During Rosh Hashanah, we eat round challah bread to symbolize the nature of life. During Passover, hard-boiled eggs are served to represent life and renewal.”

Context: The informant describes how certain round foods are used in Jewish religious practices to symbolize life and renewal. They mention specific examples like round challah bread during Rosh Hashanah and hard-boiled eggs during Passover. These foods are used during holidays, and the round shape is a meaningful symbol within the Jewish tradition.

Analysis: This tradition of using round foods highlights how folklore can be carried symbolically in specific religion’s food. The round shape represents a cycle, suggesting that life is infinite. Rosh Hashanah’s round challah bread focuses on life as a whole, while the hard-boiled eggs during Passover signify rebirth. These traditions show how food in particular plays an important role in life’s cycles and during religious celebrations.

Día de los Muertos

Nationality: Mexican American
Occupation: Teacher
Residence: Nevada
Language: Spanish and English

Text: “Every year for Día de los Muertos, my family sets up an ofrenda in the living room. We put up photos of all our loved ones who have passed away, even including our pets. Alongside, we also include marigolds, sugar skulls, pan de muerto, water, and their favorite foods. Pan de muerto is always a must to add to an ofrenda, it’s a sweet bread with bone-shaped decorations on top. For my grandfather, we always put out a can of Coke, a pack of cigarettes, and juicy fruit gum. My mother also believes in leaving a cup of water for every passed loved one since the journey to get back to Earth is a long one, and they are probably thirsty.” 

Context: My informant is Mexican-American and grew up in Los Angeles. Since she can remember, she has always participated in Día de los Muertos, and now, since she is older, she helps organize the family’s annual ofrenda. Her mother is from Oaxaca and takes the tradition very seriously. The ritual is a mix of sad and beautiful, but gives her a sense of connection to family members she never got to meet or ones she misses. The ofrenda is the emotional center of the celebration, but pan de muerto is the food associated with the holiday. 

Interpretation: The ofrenda ritual for Día de los Muertos represents a profound fusion of indigenous Mesoamerican beliefs as well as Catholic practices. The ofrenda acts as both a physical and spiritual portal, in order to welcome the dead, but also to unite the community through shared memory and tradition. This tradition emphasizes the circle of life and how death is not the end but a recurring part of life that invites return, celebration, and remembrance. Eating pan de muerto together turns the experience from commemoration to communion, where the past is not mourned.