Tag Archives: wedding

Wedding Bells – Irish wedding rituals

Nationality: Russian, Irish
Age: 59
Occupation: Office Manager
Residence: California
Language: English

Text:

KT: “This is a wedding tradition that mostly comes from my dad’s side of the family [Irish heritage], but I did it at my wedding and I believe my mother did it at her and my father’s wedding too. So, after me and your dad left the church, all the guests rang little silver bells that were passed out before the ceremony. Bells are said to ward off evil spirits and bring good luck in a marriage. They also rang the church bells too if I remember correctly, which is pretty normal for church weddings. The guests got to keep the bells and they rang them as we can in for the reception too which was really pretty. I really liked that.”

Me: “Where did you learn about this wedding tradition?”

KT: “I learned about it from my parents, I think. Like I said, I think they did something similar at their wedding. Your grandmother isn’t Irish, but your grandfather is, so they incorporated some Irish traditions into the wedding. I think he must have learned it from his family because I think I remember my mom saying my uncle did the same thing at his wedding too.”

Me: “Do you know what generation American you are?”

KT: “Yes, so my dad’s dad came from Ireland. That means my grandfather and grandmother, which would make me a 2nd generation American, I think. So, I guess that tradition is probably pretty popular in Ireland, at least in our family. I don’t know anyone in Ireland, from our family or otherwise, so I don’t really know. It’s funny too because I don’t think my sister or brother did it at their ceremonies, I can’t really remember, but they both got married first, and my mother was insistent that I do it. My dad passed when I was three months old, but you know, my mom remarried, so I was the last of her kids from my real dad. I think that’s why she really wanted me to do it since I was the last one from that side of the family.

Me: “Did you incorporate any other family or cultural traditions into your wedding?”

KT: “Well we had a Catholic wedding ceremony, which has specific things to complete the Sacrament of Matrimony. I don’t know if we really have any other specific family traditions. Well, I guess besides the bells, that’s kind of a tradition now.”

Me: “Did it feel important to connect to your Irish heritage, and in a way your dad?”

KT: “Yeah, it was nice. I never really knew him, only my stepfather, so doing something like that I like to think my dad would have appreciated it. My stepfather was Irish too, so we still did a lot of Irish things and such growing up, but it was special because my real dad did it at his wedding.”

Context: KT is a 59 year old from California. She is of Irish decent. This wedding celebration was passed down to her from her parents, and she is unsure of how far back the tradition goes in her family, but it is a very popular wedding tradition in Ireland. She told me this story in-person, and I recorded it to transcribe.

Analysis: This is a relatively common Irish tradition, one that has influence in even non-Irish weddings. As my informant mentioned, even churches for non-Irish ceremonies have a practice of ringing the church bells after the ceremony is concluded. This Irish tradition has been acculturated into a religious tradition as well, in part, likely due to the strong religious ties in Ireland. This practice is directly linked to folk legends of fairies and spirits in Ireland, as the bells are to ward off evil spirits that could cause strife for the celebrations or the new couple. It is also important to note that this tradition was encouraged by KT’s mother to connect KT to her heritage and her father, even though it is not a practice from her culture [KT’s mother is Russian]. She wanted KT to connect to her culture and the important cultural practices. It was also a way that KT was able to remember her father and have a link to him on a very important day in her life, one that is centered around family. KT also mentions that she got married in a Catholic church, and in doing so, took part in the Sacrament of Matrimony. This is a religious tradition, which has its own set of specific rites that are completed. To receive this sacrament, certain things must be completed by the bride and groom, no matter what cultural background they are from, since it is purely religious in nature.

Wedding Crown

Text: 

Context:

This crown was made for the informant’s mother out of a bracelet her grandmother wore on her wedding day. The mother of the informant is Swedish and the crown was made by the same jeweler that makes the Swedish Royal Family’s jewelry. It gets passed down from the oldest daughter to the oldest daughter but can be worn by any of the grandchildren that wish to wear it. It is seen as a form of good luck as every bride that has worn it has remained with their husband their entire life.

Analysis:

This item not only serves as a wedding ritual item but also as a good luck charm. Weddings of course are times of transition and change, therefore it makes sense that an item of good luck would be used. In many situations, as discussed in the lecture, where there is luck involved or there is no control over what will happen there are often good luck charms. Weddings are one of the three biggest milestones in life and the only one we are conscious of adding to the importance to us of the occasion. The symbol of the crown, made by the jeweler who makes royal jewelry could also indicate that on this day the person who wears it is above all else, royalty in their own right. It emphasizes the importance of the day and what is happening. Similar to a coronation the crown is only worn at special occasions.

Joota Chupai – Shoe Stealing

Nationality: USA
Age: 20
Occupation: Student
Residence: California, USA
Performance Date: 2/21/23
Primary Language: English

ZN describes a prank/game that is commonly played at weddings in their culture. They are a second generation immigrant from Pakistan who lives in the Bay Area. Their family is Muslim.

ZN.) So, when a couple gets married – a bride and groom – the bride’s family, usually like the younger siblings or cousins of the bride, will steal the groom’s shoes and then they’ll go hide them somewhere and the groom’s family has to try and get the shoes, but they never do. And then the groom has to buy the shoes back from the bride’s family because they’re like, ‘oh you’re taking away or our sister or cousin,’ or whatever. It’s like, ‘we’re taking your shoes’ and then the groom is like, ‘I’ll pay you a lot of money for the shoes.’ So, then It’s like a huge, like, bargaining thing and the groom will be like, ‘Oh how about like $200’ and then the bride’s family will go like, ‘No we want $1000.’ The groom will be like, ‘No, but I’m broke. I won’t have any money to pay for my new wife’s food,’ and they’re like, ‘no give us more money.’ Anyway, so then they usually settle on, like, $500 or something, and then with our family, the entire family the of the bride will go to like Ihop after the wedding and we’ll spend it all on Ihop, like, pancakes and hot chocolate

Me.) Where do you usually see this? Is it your family specifically or have you seen any version of this at other weddings for the shoe stealing?

ZN.) I don’t know if it’s a South Asian, or maybe just Muslim Pakistani, thing but the shoe stealing is like a common thing.

This seems to be a practice of the game Joota Chupai, literally translating to ‘Shoe Hiding’. This wedding tradition is most often observed by Desi groups (south Asians) in India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, and other surrounding countries. In this game the bride’s family will steal the groom’s shoes, which in Hindu culture, they must have to leave or enter the wedding venue. The groom’s family will try to find the shoes to get them back to the groom, usually to no avail, and then the bride’s family will demand money to return the shoes to the groom. This tradition allows the two families to have some fun during long wedding ceremonies and brings them closer together through competition. Even though the tradition seems to stem from Hinduism, it seems that Muslims from the surrounding regions picked up the tradition as well, showing cultural mixing within the area despite religious tensions. JK, another South Asian individual hailing from Gujarat, India had this to say about the game:

JK.) It’s played all over India. Everyone does it at weddings, so it’s not a Hindu or Muslim thing, it’s everyone.

Eggs for a Rain-Less Wedding

Nationality: American
Age: 50
Residence: San Gabriel, California
Primary Language: English
Language: Tagalog

M is 50, and was raised in the Caloocan area of metro Manila, Philippines, and currently resides in San Gabriel, California.

M says that “if there is an occasion in which you don’t want it to rain, like a wedding” then you should leave an egg outside. Interestingly, M couldn’t recall where she had heard this belief or the reason why it was so widely held.

Research indicated that this was indeed a common belief held among Filipino people, although there is some discrepancy whether the belief is a myth or a spiritual belief. One variation acts as an urban myth, with eggs being symbolic for new beginnings, while another variation suggests that the egg is an offering to Saint Clara for good weather. Either way, it is still interesting that there can be multiple different origins for one folk belief.

Bring The Bride!

Nationality: Lebanese
Age: 47
Occupation: Mother
Residence: Dubai, United Arab Emirates
Performance Date: February 21st, 2023
Primary Language: Arabic
Language: English

Original: “جلب العروس“

Transliteration: Jalab El Aroos

Translation: “Bring the bride”

The informant is one of my family members who is married and has been raised in Lebanon for most of her life. She discusses instances in her childhood and moments with her family that are the most significant to her culture and upbringing

Context:

She states that “Lebanese heritage lies mostly within special occasions such as weddings, which is one of the most important moments of every Lebanese individual’s life as it brings most of the family together to practice passionate traditions that can only be done on these rare occasions” conveying the importance of culture within Lebanese Culture. She states that “This certain grand gesture is mostly practised by the Druze religion and is the process of claiming the bride from her family home” The Druze religion is the smallest religious group in Lebanon that have a certain manner in performing wedding ceremonies specifically. The process involves “driving from the groom to the brides home with a traditional Lebanese ‘Zaffe’ which includes a band and dancers dressed in traditional Druze wear” which the informant states have been done at her wedding in a vast manner. She ends with “The groom and family must dance and sing until they reach the bride to claim her from her parents and take her back to his home” The informant has specifically stated that this process is accurate at all Druze weddings and is a part of the ritual of their marriage.

Analysis:

The formal use of the title of the gesture highlights how sacred this element of the wedding is to the culture and religion. Although the Druze community is not the largest religious group in Lebanon, it is still indicated to be the country with the highest Druze population, therefore, having such a theatrical part of the ceremony allows them to celebrate their culture in a day with the entirety of the community. The dance is the main element of the gesture highlighting the culture that is taught into daily life in the ceremony so that every individual has the chance to celebrate and bring their culture to light at this heightened moment of celebration together. Incorporating the traditional outfits of the religion allows the community to be seen by the rest of the country as they are the smallest religious group. Although the ceremony may not have religious scripture or performance elements incorporated such as Christianity or Islam, this is how the Druze community incorporates their culture into formal celebrations and rituals. It also portrays the unity between the families as it is not an aggressive ‘claim’ but instead an agreement to allow the couple to continue to thrive in a joint manner in the Druze community.