Tag Archives: india

Together Forever – A Henna Tradition

Nationality: Indian
Age: 30
Occupation: Pediatric Eye Surgeon
Residence: Bangalore, India
Performance Date: 3/19/2014
Primary Language: English
Language: Hindi, Tamil

Item and Context:

“Henna traditions are deeply entrenched in the proceedings of Indian weddings. I remember when I was a teenager, my older female cousins would be getting married, and they would tease all of us younger girls by saying that if they hid the initials of our boyfriends in our henna and the respective boys were able to find them in the swirls and floral patterns, we would be together forever. Of course, being a teenager, I found this pretty embarrassing and awkward, as most teenage girls are when it comes to boys. Now, it’s no big deal, because I’m already married. But the next time any of the girls in our family gets married, I won’t leave you!”

Analysis:

As the informant mentioned, henna is really important in Indian weddings, regardless of religious affiliation. There are man different henna rituals and traditions, including this one. Oftentimes, the people targeted by this “hidden initials” ritual are the teenage girls of the wedding party, i.e. the ones who are about to grow up and get married soon enough. Therefore, it is common to embarrass them by hinting towards their upcoming weddings. Also, the idea of predestination is important in the faith of Hinduism, the predominant religion of India. The idea that a woman’s soulmate has already been picked out for her from lifetimes before and for lifetimes after is highlighted by this tradition, and the ideal outcome is that the girl’s supposed boyfriend should find his initials in the girl’s henna. Since henna is traditionally applied on the palms of a girl’s hands, the notion of palmistry is also brought up here ; if the boyfriend is able to find his initials in the girl’s henna, symbolically, he is finding and establishing his place in her hectic life as well.

Silence Is Not Always Golden

Nationality: Indian
Age: 47
Occupation: Management Consultant, CEO
Residence: Cupertino, California (Originally from Hyderabad, AP, India)
Performance Date: 3/19/2014
Primary Language: English
Language: Hindi, Tamil, Telugu, Kannada

Item:

“Be wary of silent dogs and still waters.”

Context: 

The source interviewed related his personal experiences with this particular proverb – “Growing up, I always made the wrong friends. I didn’t know they were the wrong friends, but my dad did. Because he was my dad, and he knew everything. My friends were those people who would be incredibly sweet and make easy conversation, but would be very guarded around other people about their own secrets and opinions. One day, I stumbled upon these guys talking the classroom. I was outside in the corridor, and they didn’t know that I was there and listening to them. Naturally, they were talking about me. And they said some things that I can’t repeat in front of you. Upset, I went home and complained to my dad, who told me ‘Be wary of silent dogs and still waters’ – meaning it in particular about people who don’t voice their opinions on others frankly and instead plot and scheme behind the backs of others.”

Analysis:

This proverb is a classic Indian warning against people who don’t talk. Indian people in general are quite talkative, never hesitating to share their opinions, even and sometimes especially when it proves to awkward or unwanted. Therefore, when people aren’t talking, it means that they must be up to something. So, when someone isn’t being obnoxiously vocal about their opinions on your personality, sever all ties with them, because they probably don’t like or care about you.

Wealth And Character

Nationality: Indian
Age: 44
Occupation: Technical Recruiter, Clothing Designer
Residence: Cupertino, California (Originally from Hyderabad, AP, India)
Performance Date: 3/19/2014
Primary Language: English
Language: Hindi, Tamil, Telugu, Kannada

Item:

“If Wealth is lost, something is lost. If Character is lost, everything is lost.”

Context:

The interviewee was very open about her experience with this proverb – “My father used to tell me this all the time. He told me that an individual’s greatest asset is their character. And that if they lose everything else in life – their dignity, their money, their house, their family – as long as their morals, integrity, and humility are intact, nothing will shake them. He stressed the importance of being a good person over being a rich and materially successful person. And so I’ve tried to live by this philosophy.”

Analysis:

This is a Vedic proverb, which conveys a very Hindu ideal. The main purpose of the Hindu faith and its various scriptures, including the Vedas and the Bhagvadgita, is to teach people how to live a simple, honest, and fulfilling life. It accomplishes this through preaching moral values and highlighting the importance of a strong character (Dharma) over wealth (Dhana). In fact, one of the best ways to attain moksha, the ultimate state of being, where a person can be as close to the gods as possible, is by giving up all worldly attachments, including money, fame, and love, and focusing solely on living a simple, Spartan life that tests one’s willpower and devotion. Therefore, it would make sense for strength of character to take precedence over wealth in a society where such values form the backbone.

 

An Indian Wedding Tradition

Nationality: American (ethnicity: Indian)
Age: 19
Occupation: Student
Residence: Los Angeles, California (Originally from Irvine, California)
Performance Date: 4/29/2013
Primary Language: English
Language: Hindi

Item:

“So my family originates from um, a little state called Gujrat in India, and uh we, our weddings in India differentiate from state to state, so our weddings have a certain aspect: At the beginning, prior to the formal ceremony, where the bride’s side attempts to steal the groom’s shoes. And it’s this big thing where both sides kind of get in this mini tussle that can kind of sometimes, expand in to big fights, um, over the shoes. And if the bride’s side succeeds in securing the groom’s shoes the groom then uh has to pay off the bride’s side to get his shoes back because he can’t leave , he can’t leave the uh location without those shoes.”

Context:

The informant on his experience with this wedding tradition: “So, um, this past wedding that I went to, I was on the groom’s side, so I was semi-in charge of my cousin’s, so we were in charge of securing those shoes and keeping them safe, so the entire way up until, the mundup is what we call it, it’s where they have the actual ceremony, we surrounded the groom like body guards and literally just walked him all the way up the stage and didn’t let anyone near him, like he was the president, um and successfully got him there without having the shoes stolen. In another situation at another wedding I was on the bride’s side, and um the groom’s side had secured one shoe, the other shoe had been secured by us, and one of the big guys like, put it behind him and held it there. And you know, I was in charge at the time of like figuring out where they took it, so I realized he had put it behind him and just had it in one hand, and I just grabbed it and ran, straight out of his hand, and got it that way. So I mean it takes a little scheming and planning, but it’s fun, it’s one of the fun parts about a wedding.”

Analysis:

Indian society is very patriarchal. So, in a way, what happens in a wedding is that the groom’s family steals the bride from her family. In this sense, the activity of the bride’s family in the wedding demonstrates their acknowledgment of this fact and their consequent response. That they steal the groom’s shoes exhibits a lighthearted form of revenge taken against the groom’s family. The monetary compensation received from the return of the shoes is the least they can expect after having their daughter stolen from them.

 

Rajasthani Wedding Games for the Bride

Nationality: American
Age: 22
Occupation: dancer
Residence: Las Vegas, NV
Performance Date: December 18, 2012
Primary Language: English
Language: Marwari, Marathi, Hindi

Rajasthani Wedding Games and Pranks
1. After the wedding ceremony, the bride goes to her husband’s house where his family will put her intelligence, courage, strength and cooking experience to the test (in a friendly series of games). The exact tests to be performed vary by family, but some that Mayuri listed were:
– The bride enters the house only after kicking a rice-filled pot with her right foot (auspicious one).
– The ring game: a vat is filled with milk and small metallic objects (along with the wedding rings) are thrown in. The bride and groom must reach in together and try and fish out their rings with one hand. The one who does so first will have the upper hand in the marriage!
– The bride must try and hold as many of the gifts that her new family will deposit in her lap. Brides will often use their veils to wrap all her new family’s gifts and carry them around. She must carry as much as she can in her sari (test of her ingenuity and resourcefulness).
– The bride must also pick up every female member of her husband’s family. This is a test of her strength.
Later on, right before the wedding night, the bride and groom will be teased together (especially by the cousins) and pushed and shoved all the way to their highly decorated bedroom.

These rituals are done to ease the liminal period for the bride. Traditionally in India, the bride does not meet her husband or his family before the marriage and so these games are done to ease the transition from her old family home she’s lived in her whole life, to her new home with her husband and his family. In India, families live together and share the same house; therefore, the rituals and games involve the whole family. The bride is also going from an unmarried virgin to a married woman on the wedding night so it is important for the bride to feel comfortable with her husband.